Why The Modern Dating Marketplace Sucks (And What You Can Do About It)
Waddup! Today, I’m going to give you guys a reality check, but also an upside of what the current dating marketplace looks like and what you can do about it. I’ll walk you through two recent experiments we did and then compare the results on each side of the coin (men vs women).
In short, it’s bad out there for a man on dating apps. But don’t worry. We’ve put a lot of work into maximizing your odds in these tough times.
What It’s Like Using Dating Apps as a Man in 2021
Spoiler alert (or not really a spoiler): The modern dating marketplace is definitely stacked against men. So, you have to really focus on maximizing your appearance (SMV) and improving your profile, both pictures and bio. The point of the article is actually giving you an objective stance of what is and what could be.
Girls are naturally in abundance. Why? Most men have the lowest of standards and will swipe right on (and often have sex with) anything. So, girls have tons of options in front of them, and they can get laid anytime they want. We have had a number of podcasts where girls themselves have voiced that it’s difficult for them to find a man to commit to them, meanwhile it’s difficult for most men to get laid in general. The average man in the US will sleep with 6-7 women in his lifetime.
So, simply put, it’s not an equal playing field. To better understand what this looks like, we ran two experiments on Tinder:
First, we created fake profiles for a hot girl and an average girl. Then, we ran a similar experiment with a hot guy and an average looking guy. The full experiment videos are linked here, but you can read on to get a quick sense of what we found.
Here were the results of the hot girl vs. average girl experiment:
Average Girl:
Results:
Takeaway:
- You can see that this is an average girl by most standards. Hair is a bit shabby. Not full body shots so she may be a bit chub. Filters to cover up god knows what and a bad fashion sense overall
- If given options to choose among 9 other attractive girls, you’d always swipe left on her (or at least most of the time)
- But to everyone’s surprise, this girl got 500 likes in less than 24 hours. Ever seen that many in your queue in less than 1 day? Or even in a few weeks? For most guys, the answer is definitively not.
Now, the Hot girl:
Results:
Takeaway:
- She’s a much more attractive girl. A girl anyone of us would love to get with. Big tits, curvy and a nice ass. She is objectively at least 3 points above the previous girl on the SMV scale.
- This is equally shocking. More than 1000 likes in less than 24 hours. A girl like this could have a pretty good lucking guy show up at her doorstep in a jiffy at pretty much any moment she chooses.
- Definitely a “pretty privilege” and most guys would kill to have that.
Next, we ran the same kind of experiment for an average looking guy vs a hot guy. We asked one of our booty calls to pick out a hot IG crush they have and we downloaded those pictures, created two different profiles and ran them each for 24 hours
Avg Guy:
His Results:
Takeaway:
- An average SMV guy with a skinny fit build with some awkward expressions here and there but still pretty good pictures since he has adventure/travel pictures, one with the dog and 1 activity
- You’d think in comparison to the girl’s profiles, he’d get at least 100-200. But, nope. He gets 25 likes in 1 day. Mind you, Tinder gives newbie boosts to newly registered profiles to draw them into the app, too. So his results probably will get worse over time.
- In short, that’s a whopping 20 times less than the average girl’s profile results!
Hot Guy:
Results:
Takeaway:
- This guy is definitely easy on the eyes. If he were given a chance in the male modeling industry, he’d kill it. The profile will definitely be in the top 1% category on Tinder since everything is on point.
- He got 4x the results of an average guy, which is expected, but the number of likes were only 112. Literally 10 times lesser than the average girl.
- So if you’re one of those guys who believes “Chads” are getting all the women – in reality, even this good looking dude can’t just get a woman on demand. If he has shitty text game, he may still not get girls to meet up with him consistently at all. Yup, there are plenty of good looking guys who still don’t know how to get laid.
- Mathematically, it adds up: 90% of the guys will swipe right on the hot girl, while only 10% of the girls will swipe right on the hot guy (if SMV remains the same on the scale on both ends).
So What Does This Tinder Experiment Mean for You?
Yes, it’s a bit discouraging. But, it doesn’t take that much to be in the top 10% of guys’ profiles. Good pictures, an engaging bio, and having a good looks will get you there.
But, there’s still one huge place you can differentiate yourself!
It’s time for the big reveal. I’ll show you the common messages these girls received. This is proof as to why you need to put in the time to learn how to text, and to consume our content on how to get laid.
These are the messages the girls received. We swiped on the first 100 profiles which were shown from the queue regardless of the man’s SMV. There was no real distinction except that the average girl got lesser needy guys who didn’t follow up as much.
Takeaways:
- As you can see, on an average, extremely atrocious text game. “Wanna hang?” as an opener….Works maybe 1 out of 200 times, maybe, if the guy was exactly the girl’s type.
- Most messages are just “Hey, how are you?” and something related to the bio
- A regular girl would be so bored from going through her messages. Imagine seeing exactly the same message coming from all the guys she matched with. She’d be mentally exhausted and just lock the phone.
- They double and triple text with the same exact message, which is never going to elicit a different response from the girl
- They don’t follow any kind of basic text game principles. They treat it as an extremely platonic conversation and don’t trigger any kind of curiosity
- Most times, a typical attractive girl will chose to go out with an average looking interesting guy rather than a hot boring guy
Summary: Lessons from This Tinder Experiment
So, what can YOU do to be better than the competition – and maybe even show up on the hotter Alexa’s matches queue? These are the most basic steps.
- Optimize your profile: Do this as much as possible. Both your pictures and Tinder bio need to catch the girl’s attention. Run many trial and error iterations to see what works for you. Much more than the Average joe. You can’t be swiped right on by every girl but with a solid profile, your chances are high to get some quality matches.
- Run Volume: You will match with quite a few hotties but if their match queue is even close to what both the Alexa’s have, you have your work cut out for yourself. So, you’ll have to compete with the numbers as well. As previously established, Tinder game is very much a numbers game. Don’t get down on yourself when an unusually hot match
- Opener: As a girl scrolls down once she has matched, she is looking at the opener, if she reads a boring “Hey. How are you?”, she isn’t even going to bother opening it and will just scroll next. Don’t go off off the bio, instead use her pictures, fashion, background, and other visual elements to create your best Tinder opener. And please absolutely stay away from pickup lines since they are too corny.
- Text game structure: Have an effective text game framework for Tinder and other dating apps (ours is: Opener > Vibe > Soft close > Number close > Meet). Have an end goal in your head. Play everything to your advantage. It’s always a learning experience but not something you cannot master.
All in all, don’t let this data discourage you. Instead, realize the reality of the situation, and do what you can to outdo the competition. If anything, reading this article should give you more motivation to stand out and kill it in online game.
Hope that helps,
Indian “Volume runner” PE