What to Do When a Tinder Girl Flakes on You

 

Like I did with my Messaging on Tinder Guide Part 1, Part 2 (Messaging Kinky Girls), and Part 3 (How to Message Latinas in South America), I am going to take one of my lay reports and break down every message in an interaction with a girl I banged from bumble, but this time showing you guys what to do when a girl from Tinder flakes on you (other dating apps, and really any other date you’ve set up, applies here, too). An important thing to know up front, is that girls flake for a lot of reasons. Lots of times, flakes are even legitimate. The problem is, most guys react suboptimally when a girl flakes, and then they ruin their chances with the girl. Some guys will just stop responding, maybe even delete the girl’s number. Other guys will get offended and perhaps tell the girl off. Neither of these is good, but the second one is especially bad. Both show you getting way too reactive to a single girl you don’t even know.

The interaction starts off on the right track. In my bio I mention how two of my turn-ons are bootys and accents (very true) and she starts qualifying herself. The goal is not to come off too eager, but to still reward her answer so I say “Don’t tease me..”. She responds by qualifying herself again

Here I “give in” and state matter of factly how a great ass is one of my biggest weaknesses. The goal ofcourse is to make it seem like the girl is convincing you and not the other way around (which is how 99% of her other interactions go). This is because all women (and people in general) desire what is hard to get. I can tell she is latina so I reward her answer but in spanish (another dhv) and then start subtly sexualizing the conversation

She doesn’t really bite on the sexualization (common with FOB Latinas) and so i move the conversation in a different direction.
I ask her how tall she is because I know she is short. I also know how to say “I like short girls” in correct spanish. This will allow me to qualify her some more and dhv myself with the spanish. It works perfectly as you can see by her response

Here I dhv myself some more by saying “I used to have a venzualan gf”. (Not really true, but I have banged a lot of venezulan chicks). In my opinion this gives me value because it makes it seem like I am familiar with the culture and that she is “nothing special” for me.

The conversation has a lot of momentum and so I tell her to give me her number before she goes to sleep so I can text her the next day and she complies. Setting up plans here would’ve been the wrong call because she might have been too tired to think, but the number is an easy way to move the interaction forward without risk of non compliance

I text her the next day. She asks me what im up to and I hit her back with one of my favorite texts. Its a pretty smooth way to move the interaction forward, while further dhving yourself a bit. I make a joke about her booty and she laughs.

For the close, I ask her if she likes wine. This is particularly effective, because nearly every chick likes wine and you almost always get compliance. One yes, usually leads to another yes. Once she complies, I go for the soft close “We should split a bottle sometime soon”. She agrees and its time to go for the hard close. I get a feeling that she might be down to meet that night, based on how positively she had been responding and so I throw her a feeler text “you feeling spontaneous tonight”. She agrees and we go into logistics

I want to keep the lead warm while she is at work and around 730pm send her a picture of a bottle of pinot noir that I had. However, her response isn’t exactly what I hoped. She just laughs instead of saying “can’t wait” or “looking forward to it”. This marks the first sign of possible trouble

I decide to respond with a joke. She asks me if the wine is still wait for her, which I take as a confirmation. However, I don’t hear from her like I expected to after she got out of work. I wait thirty minutes until after her work ends and send her a text asking about what time she is coming over. She asks me for my address and I give it to her, saying “I’ll meet you in the lobby” to take some of the pressure off. If the girl is on the fence about coming straight to your place, it can mean the difference.

Unfortunately, she responds with a vague answer “Well no i’m not sure”. My goal here it figure out what her objection/concern is. Is she not sure now about coming straight to my place? Is she too tired? Do i live too far? I send her a probing text, but there’s no response. I give it 20-30 minutes and call her. If i can get her on the phone I will most likely be able to spike her emotions, figure out her objections, and ultimately get her over. However, she doesn’t pick up.

I then send her a flirty text to try to get her on the phone. However, she just responds with a cryptic “Hahaha”. This doesn’t help me at all. My next plan is to try to get her with voice memos (usually very effective). I uploaded them below

She responds to the first voice memo, but then completely ignores my second one, when I try to get her to commit a bit more. I count my losses for the night and decide to see if she texts me back the following day. She does not so I send her a take away. Again my goal is simply to figure out her objections/concerns and this text is usually pretty effective at that.

She however, does not bite and just tells me she is not nervous. Years of experience taught me something is up. She was super down and then she went cold a few hours before coming over. If I can just get her on the phone I can fix all this (at least 9/10 times) and schedule a solid date. I try a semi-humorous text that has worked pretty well in the past for getting girls on the phone. She laughs, but unfortunately she doesn’t bite

As you can see, I am just trying different strategies. Sometimes with flakes you have to try a bunch of different approaches until one sticks. At this point, I had tried twice to get her on the phone with no luck. There is a subset of girls (growing every day) that avoids talking on the phone, like the plague. I decide there’s a chance she might be one of them and go for a different approach. Her last set of messages to me were pretty positive so I decide to just reschedule over text

However, she completely ignores that message and I am back to square one. I wait two days and send her one of my favorite memes for playfully calling girls out who don’t respond to my message. Basically its a skeleton with the caption “Waiting for you to text back has got me like…” This usually has a very high response rate

You can’t see it in the screenshot, but she actually responds back with a voice memo saying something like “Haha oh you make me laugh. I am driving right now, but I will text you back in 15 minutes”

In return I send back this voice memo

I get no response though. She also, doesn’t text me back 15 minutes later like she said in her voice memo. I wait another two days and do a harsher take away. Basically, I have been pushing pretty hard at this point, but I need to communicate to her that she has to put in a little work or i’m walking away. This kind of text will only be effective if there was strong interest from the girl at some point. If she was never really interested, then she will almost always ignore.

She texts back apologizing saying she’s been busy. I could’ve bantered a bit more and rebuilt some of the momentum. However, I decide to be direct. My main reason is that because she is a FOB Latina and from my experience they respond best to guys who really go for what they want.

She responds positively, hinting at the fact that she is free to meet that night. In normal situations I would just agree, but this chick has already been super flaky. I don’t wanna just “jump on it”. I want her to actually commit to the idea of meeting up. I sent her a text that has typically worked pretty well for me in locking down flaky chicks. However, she completely ignores it. Hard to say whether she got offended or was not really serious about meeting up, but either way she ghosted

This time, I decide to not message her for a whole week. I had been pushing pretty hard and I wanted a week to go by so she wondered a bit and started thinking maybe I found another girl to bang. I reinitiate a week later with a very easy to respond to text “Guess what!”. She responds almost instantly (good sign) and I build on the joke and send her a picture of my new tattoo (re-establish attraction)

She responds enthusiastically. I follow with what I thought was an obvious joke.

She however, does not seem to get it and thinks i am insulting her. I don’t want to apologize, because I have nothing to apologize for. I also don’t want to explain myself (low value behavior, that turns girls off) so i roll with it and make a joke. She goes cold again

I text her the next day a simple low investment text to try to reopen the convo, but get no response

I wait another two days and decide to do a hard call out. This is usually my last resort move. It is when nothing else is working. The goal is to basically “call out” the girls negative behavior in the most non-butthurt way possible.

It works. She responds finally with her “concern”. This one is super easy to handle. I just basically flip it on her and strip the validation. “When did I say anything about wanting to have sex with you”. Very effective in dealing with this type of concern.

She then brings up my tattoo joke.

This one is easy. I didn’t do anything wrong and she is being ridiculous. I playfully point that out to her and she finally gives in. I respond with the original plan, but add “get to know each other a bit” to further alliviate any “This guy just wants a one night stand” concerns. This time she goes for the date (good sign).

Unfortunately, I have family staying over and so I push the date off until next week when they are gone. She agrees

I don’t want the lead going cold so on Saturday, I send her a playful text “What sorta trouble you causing tn”. She tell me  she is at the beach, which provides a perfect excuse to remind her of our date “Ah getting nice & tan for our date”. She laughs and responds positively

I send her another meme of a bear taking a shower with a caption “Here’s a nude to hold you over until then”. It’s funny and innocent, but also subtly suggests that I am the prize and she wants to see me naked. She laughs

I text her on Monday, giving her a choice between two days that I am free to really lock this in. She say’s that she can meet up after work

I confirm the time and lock it down. The day of, I send her a confirmation text. She confirms, but asks to meet in public first. Because, this chick has been so flaky, I definitely don’t want to push it and send her the address of a bar that is around the corner from my house.

I text her in the evening with the confirmation, I usually use half an hour before the date if I don’t hear from the girl. She Responds she just got out of work. I decide a risky move and call her. This time though, she picks up. We chat for five minutes, I crack a few jokes. Tease her a bit. And then ask how much longer she needs to get ready. She says’s she is running an hour late (very typical in the u.s with attractive girls). I tease her a bit and confirm the meet

An hour or so goes by and i text her “Eta?”. She tells me she is almost ready

She tells me in a convoluted way that she is 19 minutes away and I head out for the bar. For public dates, I like to get the bar first and order myself a drink. This is a very easy way to completely avoid the who pays conundrum. Works every time.

She arrives a bit late, but I am still impressed. She looks just like her pics but with a PHAT ass. She sits next to me and doesn’t order a drink. To me that is a sign that i might be able to pull pretty fast. I chill with her for 15 minutes. Just cracking jokes and building comfort. She is fun and we have good sexual chemistry

About 15 min she casually mentions that she is hungry and I use that as an excuse to go for the pull. I say “lets get out of here i know a place with some food” as I get up leading. However, she doesn’t follow and asks where this place is. I sit next to her and tell her that she should trust me, but she asks again where the place is so I drop the shtick and tell her that I am going to cook her something amazing

She is hesitant. I tell her “look into my blue gringo eyes, you can trust me”. She laughs and finally caves in. On the way over, I wrap my arms around her. I comment how she is so petite and that I could carry her. She laughs and I pick her up and carry her half a block. The goal is to keep her logical mind distracted so she doesn’t get last minute cold feet

We get to my place. I could tell with this girl escalating too fast would be a bad call so I open my fridge and ask her what shes in the mood for. However, I eat super clean paleo and she eats mainly junk food and so she doesn’t want anything except a container of sliced pineapple that I have. She also doesn’t want a drink because she’s driving.

I grab the pineapple and we go on my balcony. After about 15 min, I start escalating. Slow at first. Intense eye contact. Hand on the thigh. I try picking her up, but this time she doesn’t let me (we are on the balcony). I tease her a bit for thinking i’m going to throw her off. “Come on, I wouldn’t spend weeks trying to get someone to go on a date just to throw them off my balcony…that would be so anti-climatic”. She laughs.

We go back inside and I escalate some more. However, this one wasn’t easy. What follows next is about 1.5 hours of LMR. The issue was that this chick was totally into it one minute and then stopping me the next. Its like she had two sides, the slutty kinky side and the prude conservative side and they were battling it out.

I did a lot of two steps forward, one step back. Getting a bit further, before pulling back before she had a chance to stop me. Also, just constantly building sexual tension and making her hornier and hornier. A big thing I also had to do, was completely stop at certain points. It can be super frustrating, but is part of getting past difficult LMR. Some girls need to see that you will be completely fine taking no for an answer, before fully giving in. If you don’t they will not feel safe and ultimately not fuck you or even worse freak out.

Typically, this will happen only once, but with her it was several times. Several times as things were getting pretty passionate, I had to completely hard stop. It was a very long process. At one point, we even took a shower together (she was worried, about not being clean) But eventually, the sexual tension was too much for her and we smashed. The sex was actually really good. She had an amazing Latina ass that turned me on to no end. I fucked her in almost every position and for the grand finale had her twerk her bubble butt, while I came all over it. Very hot.

You can see that rather than getting butthurt and annoyed by this Bumble girl flaking on me, I managed to turn around the entire thing. She ended up meeting with me, and we had amazing sex. Follow these steps the next time a girl flakes on the date with you, and you can do the same.