Chapter 8 Pt. 2 – Messaging Concepts (Specific)

Chapter 8 Pt. 2 – Messaging Concepts (Specific)

Text Game Specifics

By now you should have a solid understanding of what in general makes for good and bad text game. Built on those foundations, this chapter will cover specifics from the opener to right up to the date. Below is a flowchart of how the vast majority of successful conversations go. First you open or she opens you. Then you vibe for a bit, which can include a variety of things like: banter, teasing, qualifying her, sexting, screening, seeding the meetup, etc. (obviously not all are necessary).Then you close in a smart way. After that is on to “confirming” at which point the girl might confirm or reschedule.

At any point in the interaction you might get shit tests, concerns or objections. They are quite common, but won’t always happen. All of this can last from a few messages to several dozen over a span of a few hours or a few days. As mentioned in the previous chapter don’t treat this as doctrine and focus on memorizing everything & trying to copy it to a T. Instead, treat it as a guide and focus on how it can be applied to your own game.

Opener

This is the part of the interaction a lot of guys obsess with. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a “magical opener”. If a girl finds you attractive, she is much more likely to respond than if she finds you just passable. Or if she swiped right because she thought your dog was cute. That’s why, as previously mentioned, the first step is to create an amazing profile. That will increase your response rate, response enthusiasm and the number of girls who open you. Nevertheless, the content of your first message also plays a big role and thus it is important to optimize it as well.

Crafting Your Opener

1. Don’t make it difficult to respond to – The primary goal of the opener is to get a response. That is why you want to avoid doing things that will lower your chances of a response like making it long, making it cliché, making it complicated, making it very close ended, etc. You want to open with something the girl needs to put the least amount of mental effort to respond to.

2. Don’t establish the wrong vibe – You could message the girl “your second picture makes you look like a cunt” and likely get a high response rate, but you are going to be establishing an adversarial vibe, which is what you don’t want. It is much better to start off right. That will make vibing significantly easier. It is for this reason I recommend avoiding anything long, overly gamey, overly invested or weird. Pick-up lines can be funny and get a high response rate, but they also suggest that she is the buyer and you are the seller because you are trying to impress her. The right vibe is essentially fun & flirty where she is not being put on any kind of proverbial pedestal

3. Don’t do what 95% of guys do – As an experiment, I decided to create a profile with an above average looking girl (7.5-8). In the bio all I put was “just moved to LA”. Take a look at the openers:

The vast majority of guys are opening with some reference to her profile or some variation of “hey how’s it going?”. I call this polite small talk. Don’t do that. Avoid references to her profile description (unless it’s very unique & genuine references to pictures are fine), generic cliché compliments or asking how she’s doing. You want to be just a little more unique/interesting/exciting without putting her on a pedestal by using typical pickup lines or investing too much.  

4. Be conscious of her language – This only applies when you are traveling or if you live in a country that is very multi-lingual. It’s important to keep in mind that if the average English level is poor, you don’t want to use English openers that could be misunderstood  like “Hey trouble”. I quickly learned this lesson during my travels in Colombia. The best place to start was to actually figure out if she spoke english in the first place.

Four Openers I Use

1. “Hey Trouble” – This is my classic for a reason. It’s simple, just unique/edgy enough, establishes a fun flirty vibe and is fairly easy for the girl to respond to. She can say “I’m not trouble”, “you are trouble!”, “how’d you know?”, etc. Use only in English speaking countries (U.S, Canada, Australia, NZ, Western Europe, Scandinavia, etc.). This is not recommended for countries where the general level of English is poor (South America, Asia, Parts of Eastern Europe, etc.). Trouble doesn’t translate well into a lot of languages and it will just confuse the girl.

2. “Hey Nerd” – Same principle as the previous one, personally I have slightly lower response rate with this one, but I know other people who it works better for. Use only In English speaking countries.

3. “Are you in xx city?” – I discovered this opener by accident when I was constantly traveling in between cities in Europe. It quickly became my favorite. The girl would say yes and I would respond with “cool, just flew in xx days ago”. This would almost always get her curious and lead to her asking a bunch of questions about me (travel is the ultimate universal DHV). Overall, I found that the response rate to this opener was slightly higher than “hey trouble”. I think it’s just so easy for the girl to respond and say “yes” or “no”. Keep in mind, unless she actually has something in her bio about moving, no one else is asking her this obvious question.
4. “Do you speak English?” (written in her native language) – This is a great opener if you are a traveling to a country where your native language isn’t spoken. During my travels in Colombia, I quickly learned that some girls weren’t responding to my openers because they didn’t know what they meant. Furthermore, I learned that having an idea of her level of English will come in handy down the line as it can prevent misunderstandings before they even happen. Like the city opener, this one is also quite easy to respond to. Use only when traveling to Non-English speaking countries.

I encourage you to play around with my openers and not be afraid to try out new things using the principles you learned. Just make sure to make your opener:

1. Simple
2. Easy To Respond to
3. Conscious of her native language (if applicable)

And avoid:

1. Using weird/fancy/overly-gimmicky lines
2. Referencing her profile description
3. “polite small talk” or overly generic/cliché compliments
4. Creating the wrong vibe

Vibing

This is the broadest category because there are a variety of approaches you can take. You can banter, subtly DHV yourself, qualify the girl or get her to qualify herself, screen her, seed the meetup, build sexual tension, etc. Don’t feel overwhelmed, these are just tools at your disposal. The goal is simply to do just enough so that when you go to close she is likely to be receptive. Sometimes that can be in the first few messages and sometimes a bit longer. This is where trial & error will pay off.

The first step is to transition from the opener. Here are some examples using the openers talked about above (I closed all the girls). The big theme across all of these interactions is that I don’t get stuck on the opener and move the conversation forward:

“Hey Trouble”

“Are you in xx city?”

“Do you Speak English?”

Banter

My general rule with banter is to be lighthearted, witty and fun. I try to throw DHV’s in when It’s appropriate (not try hard) and usually seed the meetup before going to close. I always calibrate my level of sexuality based on the girl’s responses and the profile from which I matched (50 Shades of Grey or regular). In addition, I don’t have an exact amount of time for how long I banter for. In a sense, It’s like a chess game, how long before I can go for the check varies on my opponent. However, with every move I am trying to improve my position so that when I go to check, it is more likely to be a checkmate, which is of course getting her out in person and banging her.

Below are some of my favorite lines that I use while bantering. Don’t feel like you have to memorize them and try to copy me! That would actually make your text game a lot worse, because you would inevitably come off as overly gamey and sound like a robot. The best banter is situation- specific and cannot be pre-planned. Just take what works for you and naturally incorporate it when you feel it can help:

1. She has a picture with glasses

“I like your sexy nerd glasses”

2. She is from somewhere that has a cute accent (The South, Latin America, Europe)

“Please tell me you still have that sexy xx accent” or “Do you still have that sexy xx twang”

3. She asks me any variation of how’s it going

“Good, finished a killer workout. Looking nice and jacked for our date”’ (use “fit” instead of “jacked” if she’s not a native English speaker)

-One of my favorites because it DHV’s you based on being athletic, is funny/witty and plants the seed of us meeting up.

 “Good, cooking some Carne Asada. Hbu”

-Especially effective if she is Latina…Latinas love steak.

4. I want to build more rapport

“So give me the basics. Tattoos? Kids? Ever been to prison?”

5. She comments on my bio

“What was your fav part?”

6. She’s messaging me after 11pm

“What are you doing up past your bedtime?” or “someone’s up past their bedtime”

7. She gives me her number

“Hey its Alex from the thing” (my first text)

Screening

As previously mentioned, the harder you screen the more likely the girl you meet up with is to be DTF. However, she is also more likely to drop off if she is not consciously DTF (big category) or is actually looking for a boyfriend (bigger category). This is why I try to screen very strategically as to capture the largest amount of girls that are in the gray area. Screening provides another big advantage. It makes it much easier to get girls straight over your place. If you are both on here to fuck, then it makes logical sense to meet at a location where sex can actually happen.  Aside from using the sexual bio, I screen in the following three ways:

• “What are you looking for on here?”

**This is only recommended if you have somewhat of a sexual profile and are in a western country (America, Canada, Scandinavia, Western Europe)**

I typically ask this question when I am getting ready to close and the girl has shown she is likely to be receptive to meeting up (usually after a few messages back and forth). It acts as a nice smooth transition between vibing and closing. Even with the 50 Shades of Grey bio, this question is usually met with a range of answers. Take a look at the examples below (all from girls I ended up banging):

All three of these girls were super DTF when I met them (banged within 15 minutes), but some were a lot more direct about it over Tinder.

-If I get a girl who is super upfront (like one to the left), I reward her answer and suggest the general idea of meeting up. My text will be some variation of “Good, same here, let’s hang out”

-If I get a girl who I can tell is DTF, but is looking for me to go first usually by giving a vague answer and flipping question on me (like one in center), I just respond with “kinky sex & cuddles”

-If I get a girl, who doesn’t want to verbally acknowledge she’s DTF, usually by giving a “no pressure” answer like “get some drinks” or “whatever happens” and NOT flipping the question on me (like one on the right), then I don’t push it further and just use her response to go for the meet-up.

2) “Do You Like Wine?”

**Good for sexual and non-sexual profiles. However, less recommended for third world countries where safety is a big issue like Colombia**

This has rapidly become my favorite screening question. It’s extremely effective because once the girl says yes (as almost every single girl does), you can smoothly transition into a nonchalant closing response that screens as well “good, come join me for a glass”. This screens more indirectly since the vast majority of time if a girl agrees to come straight to your place for “a glass of wine” you know she is DTF. I will sometimes stack this with the first screening question or just use it on its own. Let’s take a look at the examples below (all from girls I ended up banging):

As you can see, this question transitions perfectly into the close (more in next chapter). The wine provides a perfect excuse to hang out and to do it at the sex location without stating the obvious. Thus scooping up a big percentage of the girls in the gray area.

3) Sexual innuendos/hints

This is mainly the strategy I used in Colombia where strong social norms cause almost every girl to tell you she is “just looking for friends” and safety issues cause even the most DTF girls to be reluctant to come straight to your place. Basically, the idea is not to screen directly, but to throw in feeler texts in the conversation to gage if the girl is DTF. Sometimes it’s subtle and sometimes it’s not (depending on girl’s responses, profile used and country she’s in). This can be a bit tricky to get right as you don’t want to come off immature or crass. You are a confident, dominant and sexual man who has good social awareness and you don’t want to ruin that vibe. Let’s take a look at the example below (As always, I did bang this girl):

Half of this text exchange is sexual innuendoes and it’s all the screening I need to know she’s definitely DTF. Notice though how it’s confident, fun and flirty. Not overly crass or juvenile. I want her to think I am a confident sexual man. Sex is not a big deal. Instead of being some over eager horny teenager. It’s a very important distinction and can mean the difference between the girl getting aroused and the girl shaking her head. Full lay report here

 Closing in a Smart Way

Before we get into the optimal way to close, It’s important to cover logistics, which are extremely important. Ideally, you should have a place that you can pull girls to. If you don’t, make it a priority right now. Having a place that you can bring girls to will significantly increase your odds with women, online and in real life. I am not exaggerating. Assuming you have good logistics, here is the hierarchy when it comes to dates:

• Plan A: Straight to your place – This is ideal for so many reasons. First off, there is the psychological effect of being in your place. On a subconscious level, the girl feels like she has to play by your rules. That doesn’t mean you won’t get LMR, but on average I found I get less LMR when a girl comes straight to my place, rather than when I went straight to hers. My closing ratio for girls that come straight to my place is close to 99%. That’s because the vast majority of time that means the girl wants to fuck. In addition, having a girl come straight to your place is by far the most time efficient. You don’t have to get ready as much, drive/walk, etc. Furthermore, you protect yourself from the annoyance of flakes and lateness. If a girl flakes on you or runs late, but you are still doing your thing at home then at least you didn’t lose any time

This should be your first go-to. You will be surprised how many girls from Tinder will come straight to your place, especially if you are screening first. The idea is to make coming to your place as nonchalant, expectation-free as possible over text (covered in this chapter). Usually a girl will raise a concern to coming straight to your place, but as long as you deal with it properly, she will come. Note: If you are in a country where safety is a big issue (I.e. Colombia), you might be better off skipping to Plan C.

• Plan B (shitty logistics Plan A): Straight to her place – This is usually the second best option (or best option if you can’t bring girls to your place). Most girls will prefer to come to your place. However, there is a somewhat decent percentage of girls who will actually prefer that you come to their place. They will either bring it up themselves or counter your invitation by inviting you over theirs instead. If this happens, then your best move is to go with it. Trying to convince her to come to your place instead, will likely cause the interaction to stall. And it may raise some suspicions. Overall, this is slightly less ideal. However, once she actually sends you the address, the chance of flaking is extremely low. My closing rate with girls who invite me straight to their place is around 95%. Lower, but not by much.

• Plan C: Meet in public, close to your place – There is a fair amount of girls out there who will insist on meeting you in public first. By closing optimally, the way described in this chapter, you will reduce your chances of having to meet in public, but it will still happen. In general, the percentage of girls you meet in public will be proportionate to how hard you screen. If you are not screening at all, then you will find that the majority of your dates will ask to meet in public. If you are screening the way I am, then you will be surprised how most of your dates will go straight to yours or her place.

Meeting in public shouldn’t be a deal breaker. However, you should always insist on having the date being close to your place (any bar or coffee shop), ideally walking distance. It is rare that a girl that I initially invited over to my place, agreed to meet in public, will be choosy with the location. Most of the time they will be happy that you understand their “safety” concerns and go along with whatever venue you suggest. However, in the rare instance that a girl tries to meet half way or at a public place close to them, I will almost always decline. My closing rate with meeting in public is between 50-70% depending on the country and how hard I screen. Note: If you are in a country where safety is a big issue, then this will usually be your best option.

• Shitty Logistics Plan B: Meet in public with explicit sex understanding – The only exception to me not meeting girls half way or close to their place is if my logistics suck and the girl has made it quite explicit that she is DTF. That means if my logistics suck I am typically screening a lot harder. I won’t ask for a guarantee or anything like that, but if I am driving out to meet her, I want to make it clear that we are both looking to get laid. It’s hard, for me to quote statistics with this, because vast majority of the time I have great logistics.

Now that you understand optimal logistics, let’s cover the principles/psychology of closing optimally. There are, of course, exceptions to all of these. Think of them as general best practices:

1. General first, then specific – You want to get the girl to agree to the general idea of hanging out with you before you make concrete plans. This is an adaptation of old school pick up compliance techniques. One yes, leads to more yes’s and no’s set you up for more nos. It is much easier for the girl to agree to the general idea of hanging out with you. Then once she agrees, your odds of getting her to agree to something more specific are a lot higher.
2. Be tactful in setting up a date & time- A lot of guys take the “blindly throwing darts at dartboard” approach and randomly throw out a date & time. This is not optimal because there is a good chance the girl won’t physically be able to comply with the plan (especially if she is higher value). Instead, it’s better to gather information first “what’s your schedule like?” or “you feeling adventurous tonight?” before trying to make plans.
3. Have a purpose for the number- My rule is to, at the very least, get the girl to agree to the general idea of hanging out with me before trying to number close. This significantly increases my chance of getting the number and having that number lead to a meetup. I want it to be clear that the number is just a means to us hanging out. However, this is not to say that you should skip the number entirely. After you agreed on plans, it is good to exchange numbers. Your confirming should be done over text (decreases flake rate).
4. Keep it as “chill” as possible –You want to make hanging out with you as casual and pressure-free as possible. That means if you are meeting a girl in public, it’s either drinks or coffee, no fancy/weird dates. If it’s straight to your place, it’s “having a glass of wine on the patio”. I use that line even if I don’t have a patio. The idea is that by making your “date” seem super chill & laid back, the girl will feel like there is less expectations. Expectations are the one thing that will cause girls to hesitate coming over and thus increase your flake rate.

Closing Approaches – Here are generally the ways in which I close. I will of course vary the wording and add/subtract things if necessary since no two situations are exactly the same.

• Same night close (obvious) – The ideal is to always meet that day/night. Sometimes a girl will make it obvious that she looking to meet ASAP. This will usually involve with her messaging you first and giving you plenty of hints (sometimes quite bluntly). With these situations, it’s often a “now or never” thing. If you don’t meet with her that night, you usually won’t get a second chance. The approach here is not to beat around the bush and match the girl’s directness. Take a look at the examples below:

In the screenshot to the left, the girl messages me first with a compliment. Then right away she says she is “bored” which is the code word for being DTF. She gives me her number and tells me to call her. I am so caught off guard by her directness that I ask her if she is real. After she says yes, I immediately call her. No need to beat around the bush here. We talk on the phone for no more than a minute before she tells me she is bored and asks me if I want to come over. I tell her yes and she gives me her address. I wind up going over there and banging her no more than ten minutes after walking in the door. She was surprisingly quite hot too.

In the screenshot to the center, the girl messages me first in direct relation to my 50 Shades of Grey bio asking me when I’m going to do it to her. This pretty strong indicator that she is looking to fuck that night. I am super direct and tell her to meet me after work and after a few questions she agrees. I later learn that I was completely right and it was her last night before moving out of state. We wind up meeting up later that night and banging.

In the screenshot to the right the girl opens me as well. However, she is slightly more subtle. She says she is “looking for a way to make the weekend last longer” and I take that as a sign to mean she wants to fuck that night. I throw out a pretty direct feeler text “perhaps you can be my distraction then” and she responds positively, as I expected. She is not quite as direct as the first two. I build the interaction up just a bit before inviting her over. Full LR with all the screenshots here

2) Same night close (not obvious) – This is when you get the feeling that there is a good chance the girl might be free that night, but she hasn’t made it obvious. The strategy is to send out a feeler text like “you feeling adventurous tonight?”, “you feeling naughty tonight?”, or “feeling spontaneous?”. If she responds with a yes, you invite her over. The exact wording of my invitation will widely vary based on how sexual the conversation has been, but I keep it quite simple, i.e  “join me for a drink on my patio”, “Drinks. My place. Say 9”, “cum on over then”, etc. Take a look at the examples below:

After I screen her, the girl to the left tells me she is on Tinder to hook-up. However, she has yet to indicate that she is looking to meet up with me or that night. I first validate her answer and suggest the general idea of us meeting up. She agrees and asks me “when?”. This to me indicates that there’s a good chance she might be free that night and I send out a feeler text “feeling spontaneous”. She indicates that she is free and I proceed to have her over later that night & bang her. Full LR with all the screenshots here

The girl in the center is a slightly different situation. After I screen her, she very enthusiastically tells me how excited she is about my bio. I propose the general idea of us meeting up & she right away propositions me to hang out the next night. Judging by her enthusiasm, I get the feeling that she might be down that same night, so I tentatively accept her invitation for tomorrow and throw out a variation of the feeler text to gage her reaction. My instinct turns out to be right and after a little deliberation, she winds up coming over later that night. Full LR with all the screenshots here

The girl to the right was an example of when a feeler text did not lead to a same night meetup. She is quite sexual during our conversation and so I throw out a more sexual variation of the feeler text. She responds positively, but I quickly find out she is not able to “cum over” that night. She winds up suggesting the following night and I accept. Full LR with all the screenshots in this post

3) Do you like wine close – This has become one of my favorite closes. It’s super simple and quite effective. I will quite often combine it with the other closes, but it also works well on its own. First you say “do you like wine?”. Then when she says yes, you follow it up with “Good. Come join me for a glass”. Aside from it’s simplicity, this close is great because it is very time ambiguous and acts as a feeler. Often times if a girl is free that night she will interpret it to mean that you are inviting her over that night and act accordingly. However, if she is busy she will likely assume you meant in general and you can follow it up by figuring out her schedule & inviting her over a different night. Let’s take a look at the examples below:

The girl to the left: this is the reason why I love the previously mentioned “finished a killer workout….for our date” line so much. The girl responds fairly directly to it asking me when that date is. I match her directness & ambiguity by going for the wine close right away. She responds positively (as almost every girl does) and I invite her over. She asks me for my location and I go a little further, by giving her my exact address. She responds positively by telling me she can be over in half an hour. She shows up on time and we bang. Full LR here

The girl to the center tells me she is going away for a few days on Thursday and I respond by using that to bring up the general idea of us hanging out. She enthusiastically agrees & gives me her entire schedule indicating that she is likely free only tonight. I respond with the wine close. She responds positively and since I already know that she is likely free that night. I add “tonight” at the end of my invitation. She accepts & requests one more pic. I send her that pic & she winds up coming over later that night. We bang within 15 minutes of her arrival.

The girl to the right is a little bit of a different situation. She had just finished giving me a long winded monologue about how she is looking to get fucked, but doesn’t like to commit to anything before she meets the guy. I responded with a variation of the second part of the wine close in a way that shows I understand her concern and suggests the general idea of us hanging out. She agrees, but tells me she prefers vodka. It is late on a Sunday night & I have a feeling that I am not going to get her over that night so I ask her “what’s your schedule like?” and she gives me her work schedule. I propose a night & she counters my proposal with another night, which I accept. She winds up coming over on that scheduled night & after thirty minutes of vodka we bang.

4) “What’s Your Schedule like?” Close – This is usually used if hanging out that night is not likely. Sometimes it will be obvious from the conversation and sometimes you won’t know until you send a feeler text and the girl lets you know she is busy that night. Unless It’s my last night in her country, I won’t push hard to meet that same night. Instead, I will use this close to figure out her schedule and set the fuck date for a night she is available. First, I get her to agree to the general idea of hanging out “we should get together sometime soon”, after she agrees, I ask her “what’s your schedule like?” or “when you free?”. Then if she doesn’t offer a date, I propose one based on the information she gave me.

The girl to the left had just agreed to the general idea of hanging out with me. It didn’t sound like she was available that day so I went general and asked her “what’s your schedule like?”. However, because she wants to meet up that day, she interprets it to mean today and tells me what time she will be free that afternoon. I immediately calibrate & invite her to meet me for coffee (this is in Colombia so Plan C was my default). She accepts. Full LR with all the screenshots here 

The girl in the center winds up being quite direct during our “vibing” by telling me that she is hoping I can fuck her. I immediately calibrate and go to close. I skip the part where I get her to agree to the general idea of us hanging out, because she is already telling me she wants that. However, she had asked me about my plans for the weekend right beforehand, so I put the two & two together to mean she is likely not available until the weekend. As a result, I follow up by saying a variations of “when are your free?” and she gives me a day on the weekend. Turns out, my texting “spidey-sense” was right & I make plans with her for Saturday. Full LR with all the screenshots here 

The girl to the right, she is quite direct in her general desire to get laid when I go to screen her. As a result, I suspect she might be looking to meet up that night and I send her a feeler text. Unfortunately, I am wrong and she says she is busy. No problem, she already is on board with the general idea of us hanging out so I follow it up by asking “what’s your schedule like?”. She gives me a day she is free and I agree to it. This one turned out to be a little tricky, but I ultimately did meet up & bang her. Full LR with all the screenshots here 

5) Fusion Close – As I mentioned earlier no situation is the same, which is why quite often I wind up utilizing two or even more of the four previously mentioned closes together in some variation. Take a look at the example below

I screen her and she very indirectly tells me she is DTF. I follow it up by bringing up the general idea of us hanging out. She passively agrees. I go to screen her schedule and she suggests a day. Normally, I would just accept & make plans for that day. However, unfortunately I was going to already be in a different country. As a result, I counter her proposal with another night & she tells me she is not available. I decide to throw out a variation of the feeler text “hmm maybe tonight” to see if I can get the same night meet up as it appears my only option. She tells me she is unfortunately busy also. However, she throws in a “would’ve been nice to meet you”, which gives me some hope.

I persist by asking her to think of a solution, hoping she would throw out the possibility of meeting after her plans. Unfortunately, she does not bite. As a result, I follow up a little more directly by asking her what time she is going to sleep in a flirty way. She gives me a fairly open-ended answer and I pitch the idea of meeting after her plans, throwing in a sexual meme right afterwards to emotionally spike her. It works & she finally agrees to meet up that night and asks me what I want to do. For the grand finale, I throw in a variation of the second part of the wine close, making the invitation as casual & laid back as possible. She agrees and winds up coming over a few hours later. Full LR with all the screenshots here 

Confirming

This should be the easiest part. Don’t over complicate it by treating it as some big deal and checking a million times or conversely being afraid to confirm (can lead into girl thinking that you forgot). Below are four general scenarios. There is going to be plenty of variation based on the conversation you had with the girl and the logistics in question.

A) Same day meet up – This is when you make plans to meet later that day/night. If she hasn’t texted you yet that she’s on the way or getting ready to leave, 20-40 minutes beforehand, text her “Hopping in the shower, text when on the way”

These are screenshots from three different girls who I wound up meeting up with the same day. Super straightforward. Full lay reports, from left to right   1, 2, 3

B) Next day – This is when you make plans to meet up tomorrow. That morning text her “hey still good for tonight”. You can also first text her the Ryan Gosling meme and after she responds, send the “hey still good for tonight” message. Also, super straightforward.

This was one of my ones from my travels in Colombia. I invited her to meet up for coffee the next day (Plan C Due to it being a third world country). She agreed and I asked for her WhatsApp (equivalent of a number outside the U.S). The morning of I sent her a variation of the confirmation text and she confirmed. I offered a time and she suggested a bit later. I agreed and proposed a place that was walking distance to my hotel. She texted me an hour before the date, re-confirming herself (will often happen) and we met up. Full lay report Here

C) Few days out – This is when you make plans to meet up later on in the week/weekend. Text her the evening before “pick out a cute dress for tomorrow yet”. Then the morning of message her “Hey still good for tonight” or prelude either one of those messages with the Ryan Gosling meme. Take a look at the example below:

I had already pre-screened her to be DTF. She had told me that she is looking for casual sex but likes to meet the guy first before deciding whether to fuck him. I handled her objection successfully (covered in subsequent chapter) and closed in a smart way. First I brought up the general idea of us hanging out. She agreed and I asked what her schedule was like. She gave me her availability and using that information I suggested a date. She came back with a day later in the week that she preferred. I agreed and asked for her number. Super logical and straightforward.

This was Monday and our date was Thursday. There was some banter/flirting over text in between, but nothing crazy. The “Sassy & Submissive Tinderella” was in reference to a joke between us from earlier. On Tuesday, I texted her the Ryan Gosling meme (which 99% of girls love). When she asked me what I was up to, I sent her one of my favorite banter lines. On Wednesday, I texted her asking if she picked out a cute dress yet. At this point she asked for specific logistics and following the principles of closing optimally, I invited her straight to my place while keeping it as casual as possible.

The day of she threw me a shittest/concern about being on her period (it was legitimate). I handled it properly and she gave me the green light. I texted her the time and she confirmed (usually when it’s a few days out, I’ll wait until it gets closer to setup an exact time). She spontaneously sent me a revealing picture at this point. Then 15 minutes before our date, I sent her the shower text. She wound up coming over and after thirty minutes of wine & flirting, she was taking her tampon out so I could fuck her.

D) More than 5 days out – Generally you want to make plans within the first few days. The vast majority of your results will come from the first three categories. However, more than 5 days out isn’t a deal breaker, but you are significantly more likely to get a reschedule (covered in next section). There is going to be a lot of variation here. Generally, try to keep the lead warm without being needy or annoying. Then the night before follow the “few days out” procedure.

I chose a more complex example. Very straightforward in the beginning. I screen her to be DTF and she is very upfront about her desire to get laid. I send out a feeler text “you feeling naughty tonight” to see if I can get her over the same day, but unfortunately she has plans. I then transition into inquiring about her schedule. She says she will be free the following weekend. I could try to push for the meet earlier, but she seems pretty straightforward and direct, thus I assume that she is likely legitimately busy so I agree and tell her to text me (get her to invest more).

It gets close to Friday and I still haven’t received a text from her so I message her over Tinder and she apologizes for forgetting. I tell her to text me anyways (if she doesn’t at this point, then she’s likely a time waster). She texts me soon after. At this point, I decided to amp up the attraction and game her again. This is where my social intuition and years of trial & error pay off. I get the feeling she is bi and go for the threesome angle (I legitimately had another girl who was interested). She loves it and becomes super interested again. She has already agreed to the general idea of hanging out so I go directly into about asking for her schedule. She gives me her availability and I propose Plan A. She agrees.

Since our conversation has been extremely direct I don’t ask her about the dress and just text her the morning of with the standard confirmation text. To add to the variability my other girl flakes. I treat it as no big deal and this girl is still down (that’s because I initially screened her for being DTF, the threesome wasn’t what she originally “signed up” for). Full lay report is here (including the missing screenshot with the nude of my girl).

Reschedules

Reschedules are quite common. There are a lot of guys (even intermediate/advanced), who write off girls who ask to reschedule. That is not the optimal approach. Don’t jump to the conclusion that the girl is a flake or interpret this to mean she will be unreliable down the line. Most of the time her requests to reschedule are at least semi-legit. Also, you are simply not a priority yet. It’s nothing personal, she just hasn’t met you yet. However, once you bang her the power-dynamic shifts and suddenly you become much more of a priority. That means a girl who is difficult to meet up before sex can and likely is (if you do everything right, covered in “retention” chapter), to become significantly easier to schedule after the first time.

Best way to handle a reschedule: Treat it as no big deal without acting overly eager or showing any neediness. The frame is that I am a high value guy who has plenty of options and I don’t really care, but I was looking forward to seeing you. My typical response to a reschedule is some slight variation of “No worries, but next time I might have to spank you a little” or “breaking my heart (inset girls name)”. The vast majority of the time, this gets the girl to suggest an alternative plan which is what I want. As long as I’m available I will agree to it. This can all play out in several different ways:

Scenario #1: Girl sticks to the original plans. This is not the norm, but definitely can happen.

After she agreed to the general idea of meeting up, I went to figure out her schedule and she signaled that she is down to meet up that day “I’m off at 4”. I immediately went for the same-day meet up. However, it was Colombia so I went with Plan C and picked a coffee shop that was a few blocks from my Airbnb. She agreed. I was traveling with a buddy and he was really trying to get laid so only out of friendship I asked about her having a cute friend for him (double dates definitely not optimal). She did not and I let her know I was ok with a solo date (much more optimal anyway).

I was running a bit late, so I texted her an hour beforehand asking if we could push the date back an hour. However, she used that as a chance to reschedule. I responded with my standard reschedule text. Notice how immediately she became much more interested. I showed non-neediness, confidence and humor. I don’t know if her training really got cancelled, but it is irrelevant. I went from having her try to reschedule to meeting up and banging her a few hours later…and it was a very memorable night for sure. Full lay report here 

Scenario #2: Girl suggests an alternative. This is what will happen the majority of the time. The girl will apologize for the reschedule and suggest an alternative, especially after she sees that you are not mad and non-needy. Let’s take a look at the example below:

This was Bumble (generally more dating oriented) and I hadn’t screened for being DTF. As a result, my game was more flirty & fun, rather than direct & sexual. Nevertheless, all the principles we talked about so far still apply. After some back and forth banter, I close optimally. First, I bring up the general idea of us hanging out. She agrees and I ask what her schedule is like. She gives me her availability and we make plans for a few days later (It was Monday and date was set for Wednesday). We banter a little more over text (nothing crazy). On Tuesday I follow the “few days out” confirming procedure essentially to a T. First, I send her a Ryan Gosling meme and then ask if she picked out a cute dress for tomorrow yet.

Then on the day of (Wednesday) when I got to confirm, she asks me if we can reschedule to Friday. Since the reason is sickness, I improvise a little bit on the “spank you a little” line sending a text that is a little more sensitive, but still shows that I want to meet up with her, but I don’t care and am non-needy. It works like a charm and she asks me again if I can do Friday. I agree and as always go with Plan A. She falls into the category of girls who want to meet in public first (also more likely to happen since I haven’t screened her for being DTF). I accept and go with Plan C offering to meet at a place walking distance from my Airbnb. I am too general (not optimal) and she clarifies by picking a bar that is in that area. Since her choice is still walking distance from my Airbnb, I accept. On Friday, I text her again the same confirmation text and this time she agrees. We meet and after an hour or two of drinks and escalating in person, I pull her back to my place and bang her.

Scenario #3: No alternative, due to Issue – This is when a girl reschedules with an “indefinite” issue (most often getting sick) and doesn’t offer an alternative, nor would it be logical for you to make one yet. The key again is not to be needy or lose your cool. People get sick or other shit just happens. You are a high value guy who doesn’t really care, but you do still want to see her. That’s why you will be persistent in a smart and tactful way. Let’s take a look at the example below:

This one was from a little while back and you can see how my text game was a bit worse and a little more “gamey”, but still not so bad that it weirds the girl out. We make plans for Monday and I ask for her number. We banter for a little bit (I’m slightly over-gamey and over invested, but still good enough).  The day before I send her the standard “pick out a cute dress for tonight” text. However, she tells me she might need to postpone due to being sick and doesn’t offer an alternative. This makes logical sense, if she is lying sick in bed, she is likely not going to know when the next good time for her to hang out.  

It wouldn’t make sense for me to try to reschedule right now so I send her an overly-gamey variation of the “No worries, but next time I might have to spank you a little” text. As a side lesson, you can see by her response how being overly gamey and invested confuses girls. I text her a few days later asking if she is feeling better, she says yes but she is on her period. I send her another slightly gamey text trying to get her over, but she doesn’t bite.

The next day, I hit her with the magical Ryan Gosling meme and she loves it. I strategically wait a day and text her asking her if she is on her period (that line I still use, because it’s dope), she says yes and I logically realize that she must be at the end of her cycle and offer the first day that know her period will be over. She agrees. That day I send her the standard confirmation text “hey still good for today” and she confirms.

I wound up banging her without a problem and it was well worth it (huge tits). I doubt I asked, but I would be willing to bet that everything she told me over text was true. She probably really did get sick and had her period start a few days later. However, I didn’t get overly needy or write her off, but instead I was persistent in a smart and tactful way and as a result got laid.  

Flaking

As you can imagine there’s a grey area between flakes and reschedules. Generally, I don’t lump a girl in the “flake” category unless she keeps rescheduling over and over or goes completely cold and stops responding when I go to confirm. Nevertheless, a girl who flakes shouldn’t be completely written off. Often times these are the hottest girls and you don’t want to miss out on fucking them because of your ego (since the flaking likely has nothing to do with you personally). Let’s take a look at the two different strategies for handling flaking:

1) Be Cool & Persist– The idea here is that you don’t let her behavior affect you (it shouldn’t since it probably has nothing to do with you) and persist just enough to stay on her radar so that when she gets horny, she hits you up and you seize the opportunity. Then, as previously mentioned, once you bang her the power dynamic will shift and the second time you should have a much easier time getting her to meet up. The big key here is to show zero neediness. You can persist like a mother fucker and not really lose value, but the moment you start to get needy, it’s usually over.

Now this obviously won’t be the outcome every time. Sometimes they never hit you up. My general rule is to never do more than three texts in a row. However, even after that point, I wouldn’t let my ego get in the way and “delete them”. I have essentially unlimited space in my phone, might as well leave them in there so that if they get horny and hit me up, I don’t miss out. Take a look at the two examples below:

These are two different girls, both were very young (18) and super direct about their desire to get laid during the initial conversation. Both flaked on me a bunch of times (the second one almost a dozen occasions). However, I stayed persistent, but non-needy and as a result both of them texted me out of the blue when they were horny to come fuck them (look at the time stamps). The girl to the left was average looking and so I didn’t hit her up again. However, the girl on the right turned out to be quite hot and I met up with her a second time (with almost no hassle). Full lay reports, with all the screenshots are here and here ,  

2) Draw a boundary: This is when you calmly let the girl know what she is doing is not cool and you are not going to put up with this behavior. Again, the key is to show zero neediness or butt-hurtness. Also, this will only work if the girl likes you & is invested. In both of the previous examples both of the girls were not really invested (until I fucked them). The exact text I use is usually some variation of “take care, your lack of respect for my time is a turn off”. I will typically, only go with this strategy when the girl is actually not respecting my time and bailing on HARD plans with bullshit excuses. In the previous two examples, the girls weren’t doing that. They were just being flaky in general so drawing a boundary would have made a lot less sense. Let’s take a look at the examples below:

Two Different girls, you’ll have to go through the lay reports to get the full story: here and here, respectively. The first girl kept endlessly rescheduling on me and then finally at the last minute when we were supposed to hang out gave me a bullshit excuse. This was the perfect situation for drawing a boundary. She knew deep down her behavior wasn’t cool. That’s why when I drew a boundary she quickly stopped being lazy and came over.

The second girl, I had spent an hour facetiming with (so I knew she was very invested) and we agreed for me to pick her up thirty minutes later. I hopped in the shower and when I was heading out the door, she called me to say she started feeling tired. I knew this was a bullshit excuse and I told her over the phone what you see in the text. Unfortunately, I was fairly annoyed and it must have shown in my voice (otherwise, I might have been able to bang her that night). However, it still worked. She hit me up the next day, apologizing and wound up coming over.

Side note on flaking: There is one way to dramatically lower, if not eliminate, flaking….go to Europe and start going for girls who are slightly older (21 +). Flaking is much more common amongst younger girls (all of the four girls in the previous examples were 18 or 19) and In certain countries (all these happened in America). In Europe, flaking is much more rare. Also, an “older” career woman is less likely to flake than an 18 year old. However, If you are in the U.S and like hot young girls then you are going to definitely benefit from using the two previously mentioned flaking strategies

Objection Handling/Shit Tests/Concerns

A huge part of being successful on Tinder and dating in general is being able to successfully overcome obstacles and deal with a woman’s objections, concerns and shit tests. The majority of attractive women on Tinder will have a few that they will throw your way before meeting up with you. You can have the highest SMV with the best pictures, but if you can’t successfully deal with these, you will miss out on most of your opportunities. As I side note, I found that generally speaking, girls who bring up a lot of concerns & objections on average have a lot less men in their life. That’s because, unlike me, the vast majority of guys are not able to successfully overcome them, leaving the girl quite sexually frustrated. This means that after sex, she is much more likely to turn into a booty call, because in her mind I am one of a very few guys who she sees as a viable sexual option.

Let’s start off by differentiating between an “objection”, “concern’ and a “shit test”. As you can imagine there is a lot overlap between these three. However, for the purpose of this chapter I will define them as the following:

1) Shit Test – In essence that’s when a girl says something just to judge your reaction. She wants to see if you really are how you come off (i.e. your frame) or if you are putting on an act. The successful way to overcome shit tests is to only focus on passing the shit test (and subtly flipping it around on her if applicable), instead of trying to change topics or escalate. Keep in mind that with shit tests all the girl cares about is that you are unfazed & unreactive. That’s it. No need to get overly-logical, defend yourself, etc….Take a look at the examples below:

In the screenshot on the left. The girl throws me an aggressive shit test right off the opener, this one is easy, she is asking me if I really said what I said, but really she just wants to see if i’ll own what it or try to explain/justify myself like a little bitch. I fully own it and she responds positively. Full lay report here 

In the screenshot to the center, the girl also gives me a shit test right off the opener. It is a lot less aggressive, but she is still just doing it to see how I respond. I fully own it and smoothly flip it around on her. She responds positively. Full lay report here 

In the screenshot to the right, the girl gives me a shit test right after explaining what she is looking for in reference to my bio. Instead of answering her question directly, I show her that I fully own my bio by commenting on her earlier statement. She responds positively. Full lay report here 

Let’s take a look at the common themes. In all three of the shit tests I didn’t try to escalate, change topics, justify myself, rationalize, get logical or defensive. I simply owned the thing the girls were questioning in a confident & unaffected way. This led to each one of the girls backing down and becoming more receptive.  

2) Concern – This is when a girl tells you something she is concerned about and in the hopes of you making her feel better about it. A common one is the serial killer concern. Due to horror movies, almost every girl is concerned about meeting a serial killer and quite often they will express this to you. The best way to overcome a concern is by reassuring the girl in a way that makes her feel better, sometimes with a combination of humor. Again, avoid getting overly logical, defensive, escalating, or changing the topic. Basically your goal is to put them at ease and reassure them. Also, as with shit tests, keep it simple. Let’s take a look at the examples below

In the screenshot to the left, after some banter & screening, I invite her straight to my place. She responds with a concern. Now she is not saying no, but she is saying she is worried about what’s going to happen if she doesn’t find me attractive and/or like me. This is common. I make her feel better by saying I had the same concern which is why we are going to meet in the lobby and have a drink on my patio. I also throw a little humor in. This alleviates her concern and she comes over. I wind up banging her within 15 minutes of her arrival.  However, if I had not successfully dealt with her concern & made her feel more at ease, I likely wouldn’t have gotten the chance.

In the screenshot to the center, after some banter & screening I go to close and the girl expresses a slight concern about my shirtless ab picture. She wants to know if it’s really me. You and I both know it’s not, but she doesn’t need to know that. This is one of those concerns that can be best overcome with humor so I respond “no it’s my dad’s”. This makes her feel better & puts her at ease and she winds up coming over. Full LR here 

Screenshot to the right, is a great example of a barrage of pre-meet up concerns. First she asks me how many times I’ve done this. I know her real concern is to make sure I am not a player/manwhore. She is hoping I’m a successful normal young professional who is also sexually confident. I respond in a way that reassures her that I am. Her second concern was to make sure I dont have std’s. I respond in a way that lets her know she has nothing to worry about & subtly flips it around on her. Her last concern is making sure that if she likes me, I don’t ignore her afterwards. I respond in a way that reassures her that this won’t be the case. This girl wound up coming over later that night & we banged. As a side note, she was quite hot (easily a 7.5-8), yet told me she was extremely sexually frustrated. This is because she has a large amount of concerns before she has sex with someone and the vast majority of guys simply don’t know how to handle them correctly.  Full LR here 

3) Objection – This is similar to a concern. The girl is expressing to you something she is concerned about. The difference is that she is looking for you to take some kind of action (which most of the time she might suggest herself). This means that a simple reassurance usually won’t suffice. For instance, let’s take inviting girls straight to your place.  One girl might express concern with coming to a stranger’s place where you can verbally put her at ease while another girl might outright object to it where you will need to take some kind of action, like meeting up with her in public or possibly getting her on the phone and building more comfort/trust. Take a look at the screenshots below:

In the screenshot to the left, similar to the one in the “concern” section, I invite the girl straight to my place. However, instead of expressing a concern, she politely objects to the idea. Reassuring her is likely not going to work. I respond by sending a feeler text to try to find the root of her objection, but judging by her response I can tell it’s a fairly hard no. I decide the best course of action is to go with plan C and meet her in public. She agrees and we wind up meeting at a bar. After 1.5-2 hours of drinks, I pull her back to my place and we bang.

In the screenshot to the center, the girl tells me she is DTF and is down to hang out, but expresses an objection about not being sure whether I am the person in my pictures. She brings this up a few times and I can tell by her tone that a simple joke won’t reassure her. I need to actually do something. The only logical course of action is video chat. I get her on skype and she sees that it’s really me and the objection is dissolved. She winds up coming over later that day and we bang. Full lR here

Common Mistake: Interpreting everything as a shit test– This is a very common mistake I see amongst pick up guys. They think concerns and objections are the same thing as shit tests. This leads them to get into “frame wars” with girls when the situation calls for some kind of reassurance or a different course of action. In the end this obviously results in a LOT of missed opportunities. There is overlap between shit tests and the other two categories, but they are not the same thing. In addition to this guide, experience will be your best teacher.

Frequent Concerns/Objections – Here is list of all the common concerns & objections you are going to encounter and what I found to be the most optimal answers. Some of these might sound super simple, but that is the point. Giving wordy roundabout answers usually leads to more concerns & objections.

• Are you clean? “Yes, you as well I hope”
• How many times have you done this? / How many girls have you met with?  “A few times here and there, my job keeps me pretty busy unfortunately” / “A bit here and there, my job keeps me pretty busy unfortunately”
• Is that you in the pic? / Are you the guy in the photos? “No its my dad”
• Why are you in xx country?  This is when you are visiting a different country, especially if it’s a poorer country girls will be concerned about your motives. Tourist is usually not the optimal answer, as a lot of them will associate that with a one night stand or even prostitutes/drugs. The best answer is of course work. I will throw in a joke and respond like “(famous food/activity)…..and work I guess” so in Finland I would say “That Finnish sauna….and work I guess”. In Poland I would say “Pierogies….and work I guess”. Aside from successfully alleviating their concerns, you also subtly dhv yourself by showing you know their culture
• I want to invite you over, but I just don’t have the energy to make myself sexy & clean my apartment “Don’t worry, im in my pajamas and my own place is quite messy, for any of that”
• Are you only interested in only a one night Stand? / Are you open to making this more than a one night stand? “Well if the sex is good & we vibe, why would I not want to do it again” / “Assuming we vibe well, that would be my ideal”
• I don’t know if I’m bold enough to do this randomly “let’s have a little wine first and see how the chemistry is. No expectation on my end”
• What makes you think I will like you when I get to your place? / What if we don’t click ?

 “Only one way to find out. No expectations on my end”

• I do not know what time I will finish This is if you are planning on meeting up that night. Her concern is that either that she will wake you or that you will stay up later then usual waiting for her. Respond with “No Bedtime Here”
• I don’t want to have sex with you/ Hope you don’t think I’m going to have sex with you There are numerous variations of this. It basically means the girl is thinking about fucking you, but isn’t completely sure & doesn’t want to have sex with you. Respond with “No expectations on my end”
• I maybe sleepy though, had a long day. The girls concern is that you are going to want to do something active & unnecessary when all she wants to do is chill & fuck. Respond with “Aww. Maybe I’ll give you one of my famous massages”
• How do I know you won’t kill me / how do I know you are not a serial killer “I gave up killing for lent last year so you are good” or “Don’t worry, I gave up killing for lent last year”
• You want to meet straight at your place. What if you don’t like me? / I’ve been catfished before so I am a little skeptical This is if you are inviting a girl straight to your place. The solution is to make the meeting at your place seem as public as possible. “I was going to meet you in the lobby. To make sure you are not a big black guy” / “Me too. That’s why I was going to meet you in the lobby”
• You want to come to her hotel/invite her to yours & she says she’s not sure because she’s never met you before “We can meet in the lobby or something and have a drink or two there”

Frequent “Qualifying” Concerns – This is like a concern, only its more binary and is used to determine whether you “qualify” for her or not. It’s a pass or fail question. The difference between this & shit test is that she isn’t just asking this to see how you react, instead she is trying to determine whether you meet some standard she has.  Fortunately, there are only three qualifying concerns you are likely to encounter

• How tall are you? Some girls have a hard height cut offs (especially tall girls), that means no matter how witty you are with your comeback if you don’t meet it, she will not go out with you. For this question if you are 6 feet or over just respond with your real height (i.e “6’1”), if you are either 5’10 or 5’11, just respond with “6’0”. If you are under 5’9, just add two inches to your real height. If you are planning on wearing insoles in your shoes that make you look taller, feel free to add an extra inch to that as well. You can also throw a bit of a joke in the end “6’1….you might have to wear heels” or “5’11… 6+ when I got my heels on”
• How big is your dick? Some girls will ask how big your cock is. This is another question where you can & often should exaggerate. If you got a humongous cock, then just tell her your real size. However, if you are not, feel free to round up a few inches. I am probably around 6.5-7 inches and I always say “8in”….. if I was 5.5-6 inches I would say “7in”….you get the picture
• Do you live alone? This is a common one when you are inviting a girl straight to your place. How you answer can often mean the difference between having her come to your place or having to meet in public. I have had roommates all my life, but my answer is always the same “yes” or “one roommate, but he is always traveling”. Many times when these girls will come over, they will at some point encounter my roommate & it has never been an issue.

 Other / FAQ

• How long should you wait to text a girl?

Generally speaking you don’t want to be responding right away if she is taking hours to respond. Sometimes even a well-placed silence can cause a girl to double or triple text. Overall, try to match or slightly exceed a girl’s response time. Don’t overthink this though, if sometimes you respond a little faster than her, it doesn’t mean shit. I do it all the time.

Also, there are common sense exceptions to this rule. If you are discussing time-sensitive stuff like she is about to leave & asks for your address don’t make her wait twenty minutes. If she is hitting you up for a booty call, don’t wait so long that she winds up going with someone else. If she hasn’t texted you back for a few days, you don’t have to wait a few days, just give it an hour or two.

• What do you do if she stops responding? How do you re-initiate conversations?

First off, don’t jump to the conclusion that she stopped responding. Give it at least a day or two. Too often guys way too impatient, which winds up making them seem needy & ruins their chances. Don’t be one of them. However, when it is time to reinitiate, my number one go-to is the Ryan Gosling meme (available in the Memes section). It has the best response rate out of everything I tested and has resurrected numerous dead numbers for me. Unfortunately, you can’t send outside memes on Tinder (Bumble it’s fine), so one of my favorite text messages is “and the award for best texter goes to…” Here are three examples where reinitiating a conversation got me laid.

The girl to the left, I was supposed to meet up with on New Year’s eve. We made plans for me to pick her up, but when I asked for the address she completely stopped responding. I played it chill that night & hit her up the next day with the ryan gosling meme. She responded quite enthusiastically and we wound up meeting up and banging a few hours later. Full LR here

The girl in the center rescheduled on me & asked to hang out next week. I responded by telling her i’ll be free Monday. She didn’t respond back. I waited until Monday & sent her the Ryan Gosling meme. This reinitiated the conversation and after some back and forth we wound up meeting up the next night. Full LR here

The girl to the right asked me if I could hang out a week from now on Friday, I agreed and told her to text me. After 5 days (as our date was approaching), I still hadn’t got a text so I messaged her “oy”, she responded and we wound up meeting up a week later & banging. Full LR here

What do you do if she does not have body pics?

A lot of guys would automatically say assume she’s fat and not bother, but I disagree. Yes that is often the case, but it is not always. Some of the hottest girls I banged off tinder actually did not have a body pic.

Yep, all three of these hotties did not have a single body pic on Tinder. Of course you don’t want to blindly go into your date hoping for the best either. My approach is to be straight up & just ask them. If they are fat, they will either tell you or get pissed. However, if they are not, they will often just tell you as well. I will usually bring this up right away or If I am pretty certain that she is not fat, but not 100%, I will get them on the phone or FaceTime. Examples from girls I actually banged below.

4) What do you do if she opens you?

This is a good sign. If a girl opens you she is significantly more likely to close. If it’s just a regular message, I will usually respond with “hey what’s up” and go into vibing. However, if it’s something more direct, then I will try to mirror her level of directness. Here’s three examples all from girls I banged.

5) Calling/ FaceTiming the girl

First off, I will say that only a small percentage of girls will ask to talk on the phone or FaceTime first. Over 90% of girls will be ok with meeting up with you without any of that. However, if you are good on the phone, then it can be a very powerful tool for building investment, dealing with objections, and preventing flaking. The main thing is DON’T call/FaceTime out of the blue. The girl likely won’t pick up & it will make the situation worse. I generally like to say something along the lines of “let’s chat on the phone for a minute”, “let’s FaceTime real quick”, or “let’s FaceTime real quick, I want to make sure you are not a 300lb black guy”. The last one seems to work particularly well. The idea is that you want to pre-empt her concern of being stuck on the phone with you for an hour when you suggest the Call/FaceTime. Once you actually get her on the phone, it doesn’t matter.

6) Voice Memos

Voice Memos are my favorite thing about WhatsApp & I am a huge fan of using them. They build massive comfort and have most of the advantages of a phone call, without the hassle of actually getting the girl on the phone. I find that they are great for convincing a girl to meet up, when she is on the fence

7) What do you do if she won’t give her number out

I used to think that if I did everything right, escalated optimally and if a girl wouldn’t give me her number this meant she was a time waster. However, after my trip to Europe I stopped jumping to that conclusion. There is a small number of girls out there who have no problem meeting a stranger or even coming to their place, but won’t give their number out. My new rule is that in countries with a low flake rate (Europe), I will just proceed to make all the arrangements & follow my usual protocol through the App. Here’s an example:

8) What about Snapchat?

I personally don’t use Snapchat (although this may change soon), but at this point I have heard enough stories about people strategically using it to their advantage (building comfort, creating passive attraction, keeping leads warm for months, etc) to conclude that it can definitely be a huge help. However, if you don’t have one & don’t want to get one for whatever reason, my go to line for getting out of it when a girl asks me is “no, if I send a dick pic, it lasts more than 5 seconds” Here are some examples from girls I banged who asked me for a Snapchat:

9) What about Instagram / Facebook?

Both can work to your advantage or disadvantage. Everyone has a Facebook, this means that you can’t get out of not giving one like you usually can with Snapchat. The first thing you should do is go through it and delete all your bad, low value, creepy & ugly pics (by now you should have a good idea what makes a good pic). If they are not there already throw in your best Tinder pics. If you have any weird, low value posts delete those as well. Congrats, you now have a usable Facebook! This means if a girl asks for your FB, you can freely give it to her & game her over messenger like you would over text.

Instagram, as previously mentioned, should be given out only if you have a good one. If you have a decent amount of followers & decent pics, feel free to give it out. If yours sucks, then offer to give her your Facebook instead. Take a look at the example to the right

10) What About Dick Pics/ Nudes ?

It’s important to understand women don’t hate getting dick pics, they just hate getting out of context dick pics. Don’t send them randomly. However, if you are sexting or she brings up size, then they can be quite helpful. Furthermore, sending a dick pic is one of the best ways to get nudes since women always want you to go first. Keep in mind though, there is a percentage of girls out there who are super DTF, but will not send out nudes (especially common amongst career women). If a girl does not want to send a nude, do NOT persist on getting one, just focus on the meet up. You don’t want to jeopardize a lay over a couple nudes.

The next thing to keep in mind is how big your dick is & how good your pic is. Just like with Tinder pics, the best way to get feedback is to ask girls. In this case it should probably be limited to the ones you’ve banged (unless you are feeling bold). If there is one pic that always gets compliments, use that one.

Another option is to use a fake dick pic. I’m going to let you in on a secret, this is what I do. A few years ago, I found a top notch dick pic (#nohomo) on the internet that was a few inches bigger than mine. I have been using it ever since. At this point, I must have sent it to close to a hundred girls who I then banged and I still have yet to have anyone even hint at it not being mine (despite the fact that some of them stayed around as booty calls & saw my dick quite often). Here are some examples:

Lay reports from left to to right, here, here, and here  … All these interactions have three things in common:

1. The conversation was already sexual & it was established that we are meeting to fuck
2. The dick pic wound up helping me get the meet-up. Could it have still been done without it? Probably.
3. That is most certainly not my penis.

11) How to Sext

Knowing how & when to sext can be an EXTREMELY useful skill to add to your text game arsenal. First off, I recommend reading books like 50 Shades of Grey and Sex-God Method. This will help you understand female sexuality and give you a strong foundation from which to draw from. You will get an idea of how to write in a way that turns women on. It’s not crass, juvenile, or random. Instead women enjoy the build up and for you to create the scenario. They like descriptive words but also leaving things to the imagination. They enjoy a dominant man who takes control, but isn’t desperate or needy for sex. They love to be teased & have you make them full of anticipation.

Secondly, don’t play it safe. That’s what every guy does. You need to not be afraid of losing the match so that you can develop your own intuition for when a good time to get more sexual is. However, always calibrate. Don’t try to force sexting or even feel like it’s a necessity. If a girl is giving you signs she’s not into it, then you need to try a different approach. Generally, if you have a sexual profile it’s safe to assume that most of the girls you match will be receptive to some level of sexting. If you have a regular profile, then it’s more about feeling out the vibe and developing your own intuition.

Lastly, there are different theories on this. I am a firm believer of “not giving away the climax”. Meaning that I will sext to build up anticipation & get the girl excited, but always leave her hungry for more, implying that the only way she will get more is when we meet up. For that reason, I strategically sext, just the right amount. Enough to get her horny, but not enough for her to cum.  My goal is the meet-up. Just like I don’t want to be text buddies, I also don’t want to be sext buddies. Let’s take a look at two examples below:

Both of these were girls I banged. As you can see there is a common theme, I build up the anticipation & get the girl even hornier, but don’t “give her the ending” and use her heightened emotions to accomplish my purpose of getting the meet-up. Notice how my sexting is confident & dominant, but not overly eager or overly crass. The vibe it gives off is that I am an experienced sexual man who knows what he is doing & if we meet up, you will be in for one hell of an experience!

12. How do you adjust for different countries?

This is a very broad topic. I recommend posting in the Playing With Fire Plus Facebook Group with your specific country & situation for more detailed information. However, I will say that the most important thing to take into account is the girl’s English level. That is why my opener will quite often be “do you speak English?” in her native tongue. If she tells me or I sense that she doesn’t speak it well, I will significantly simplify everything I say. The most common problem people have are misunderstandings where one of the parties genuinely did not understand the other. You want to pre-empt this from happening as much as possible.

Final Note:

I have mentioned this numerous times throughout the chapter, but it’s so important that I will close out with it. Throughout all my examples, you should be seeing many common themes. However, you should also be seeing how every situation is a little bit different and how I am always calibrating my exact responses (and sometimes even breaking my own rules). This comes through lots of trial & error and developing my own text game “spidey sense”. Don’t play it safe. Don’t be afraid to try new things. That is how you get good.