How to Message on Tinder After the Opener

If you’re a regular PWF reader, you are already opening girls like a beast using our guide to Tinder openers. But if you’re like a lot of guys, you might still get stuck after sending the opener, trying to figure out how to message a girl on Tinder for the next few messages, or what to say after she replies to your opener. This article will focus on guiding you on how to message her after your opener – along with a few lines you can reuse.

If you haven’t already, we recommend reading our basic Tinder texting framework. Not only is this important background information, but we’ll reference elements of the framework in this article.

To recap, your online dating texting process should look like this: Opener -> Qualify/Vibe/Sexualize -> Soft Close -> Number Close -> Vibe/Qualify -> Meet/Logistics (if any objections, solve)

This article will focus on the second step, qualifying, vibing with, and sexualizing with the girl. And again, I’m going to focus heavily on the first few messages you exchange after the opener.

The overarching goal is to gain investment from the girl. The more invested she is, the more willing to meet up she is, the less chance there is to flake. If you soft close for the meet with a lack of investment, it may SOMETIMES work, but the chances of her flaking last minute are high. She isn’t emotionally bought in and isn’t willing to make the commitment to meet

Key Concepts for Messaging After the Opener

1. Qualify: Qualifying is a way of “buying” the other person. By doing this, you show an essence of having standards. Having standards communicates important things to the girl, like that you have other options and that you are looking for qualities in the girl, beyond just being attractive, to make sure she is up to your standards.
2. Vibe: Vibing (flirting) is a way of getting a feel for a person. It’s important to know how to flirt with women. Women are emotional creatures, and because of this, vibing is really important for her to emotionally get to know you. She needs to be able to picture in her head what it would be to hang out with you on a date. This is where wit and humor count for a lot.
3. 3. Sexualize: Ultimately, your goal (and hers!) is to fuck. If you sexualize, or are direct about your intentions with the girl, then the girl knows what to expect. The frame is set that something sexual will happen when she meets you up. This makes the actual process of getting to sex in person much easier.

Example Interactions

With those definitions out of the way, we’re going to use some of our best Tinder openers, which we’ve tested extensively, to break down the early part of interactions after she replies to the opener.

1. “I just noticed something interesting about you” Tinder Opener

Key takeaways:

1. This opener had an 80% response rate in our testing. We like this one because it gets the girl intrigued and leaves her curious and wanting to know what it is you noticed.
2. In this example, he goes the Qualifying route. Notice how he doesn’t straight away give the “Cute smile, nice booty and girls who enjoy dominance in bed” but prefaces it with another bait of “You have 3 of my weaknesses”. Again, building up intrigue and curiosity in the girl.
3. This is the perfect combo of qualifying since it offers a low risk way to Sexualize. If the girl didn’t enjoy “dominance in bed” as much, she still can pick one of the other 2 weaknesses he mentioned.
4. She bites on to “dominance” and then he continues to solidify it with “I get the vibe that you’re the type of girl that likes to be on top in her day to day life …but with men, especially in bed you like to be submissive and give control”.
5. This is a text which applies to the vast majority of women. But, you’d have to use it in the right context or she will get offended.
6. He continues qualifying her by asking if she’s a good kisser, has tats, crazy exes. This solidifies the frame of both her selling herself to him plus the sexual frame.
7. Followed by a smooth soft close and then a number close, following the PWF framework.

2. “So, I guess we’re dating now?” Tinder Opener

Key takeaways:

1. This opener is amazing because it lets you start Vibing and flirting from the very start. Especially since it opens up a roleplay of them dating and all that comes along with it. This gives you an opportunity to create the picture of you two together
2. She plays into it, giving back a “Woah. I guess I should tell my parents?” and he continues with “Can you tell them to make our favorite food?”.
3. He keeps playing the roleplay up for a bit, saying he’s “getting the divoce papers ready” for forgetting his favorite food.
4. Then she qualifies herself saying she is his dream girl. He even asks very nonchalantly “How about assplay?” – a subtle layer of Sexualization. You’ll notice that her compliance is high since they’re connecting on a mental level as well. He starts to back off the role play (you can definitely go overboard with these), but he also comes back to it lightly later in the conversation.
5. Some more Vibing and then the date plan which she really loves and compliments him on his writing skill
6. Number close then he went over logistics on text and they banged

3. “Can I be honest?” Dating App Opener

Key takeaways:

1. Another opener which creates intrigue from the girl. A “cliffhanger moment”. “What’s he gonna say?” goes through her mind. He Sexualizes with “I love how submissive you look”.
2. This is a great way to hook the girl in. If she’s submissive and she knows it’s true (and again, most girls are submissive), she’ll try to figure out how he could tell that.
3. “It’s funny how you could tell just from pictures haha”. He calls himself a dom and that he can pick up on subtle cues her pictures give away
4. He gives a description of how he came to the conclusion and she bites hard with “I do have a thing for chokers”
5. “Good. Then you’d be able to handle me”. He Qualifies her that she’s the buyer and he’s the seller. That he’s the dom and she needs to be sub in a certain way for him to go for her.
6. A simple number close after some more sexual investment including “Handcuffs,…biting…”

Having a Successful Interaction on Tinder After Your Opener

A successful opener only really accomplishes getting her to reply to you. Once she’s replied, you still have to do work to get a solid date set up. These are three strong examples you can study and follow, as to how to message a girl on Tinder after you’ve opened her. Vibing is obviously a core component of this, and doing it well comes with having experience flirting with girls. So, don’t put yourself down if you can’t get it right the first try. No matter what route you take, you should always have the roadmap in your head to understand where you are in the interaction and where you’re going next, including the end goal of meeting up and banging.

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