Finland Fail Reports & Stories

For Some Reason, Finland was the country where I had the most non-Lay Reports, due to various reasons. Here they are in chronological order…

1) Chubby Belorussian Girl – Turned Down

 

This was the tinder girl, I mentioned in the last post that wound up coming over the same night as the Hot Finnish Milf, I matched with her on tinder before even getting to Finland (when I changed my location using the Passport feature) and we had been talking since. Truth be told, I was so distracted with banging the Finnish Milf that I forgot about this girl. I was extremely drained and tried to reschedule, but this chick told me she was already on the way and I felt bad.

As I was getting some post-sex coffee with the milf, she messaged me to say that she was a little early and I hurried back to meet her. I saw her and I was immediately disappointed. In her pics, she looked curvy (although as I look at them again, I can see the “secret fattie” signs), but in real life, she was just chubby. Maybe a 4.5-5. After, an epic afternoon with a hot Finnish Milf there was no way I could subject myself to banging this girl. However, she was super nice and had traveled almost an hour to see me. I didn’t want to be a dick and flat out turn her away so I invited her inside.

I was initially planning on spending 15-20 minutes with her before coming up with an excuse, but she was actually pretty fun to talk to: intelligent, witty, and born in the same city as me (Minsk). I wound up chilling with her for 45 minutes or so. I could tell she was just waiting for me to grab her by the hair and get to business, but I didn’t even touch her. At this point in my life, racking up number is completely irrelevant to me. I simply won’t have sex with a girl that I am not physically attracted to (at least not without massive amounts of alcohol). Eventually, I wound up telling her that I was super jet lagged and didn’t realize how tired I was (not entirely untrue) and we left on good terms

2) Friend’s Day Game Girl – Scheduling Conflict/Passed on

 

This was quite an interesting one. My friend had met her day gaming during his trip to Finland a few months ago. He wound up pulling her back to his place, but couldn’t close. He messaged her & talking me up a bit, getting her to agree to let him give her number to me.  I texted her & ran my usual text game. After a few messages back and forth, I got her to agree to meet. Unfortunately, the only night she was free (before I had to leave), was the night I had the Finnish Lawyer and the other tinder girl come over. I had three girls down for the same night and it was a weeknight so I had a limited time range (6-9 pm). I wound up scheduling the other two and keeping her as a backup, in case someone flaked, but neither one did. I picked the other two girls because I figured they were more of a sure thing and in a sense, I was right since I banged both of them. However, In hindsight, I wish I picked this girl instead for one of the time slots. She was quite cute and this would have made for a great story….closing someone else’s cold approach lead. Oh Well.

3) Tinder Viking Girl – Passed On

 

It was my last night and I was on my second date with girl #4, when this one invited me over her place. I had to make a tough choice. This girl looked like a 5.5 in her pictures, but was super dtf. However, I was actually in front of the Shy Tinder Girl and knew for a fact she was a 7. I also thought there was a good chance the Shy Tinder Girl was going to close and I chose to stick it out with her

4) Shy Tinder Girl – Couldn’t close/needed one more date

 

Saving the best story for last. This was a painful example of a “what could’ve been”. We went on two dates and I got really close to banging on the second one. However, I couldn’t completely close and she left. Then that next morning she messaged me saying she changed her mind and wanted to fuck. Unfortunately, I was already on a plane about take off for Poland. Here’s the story:

We had been messaging for a few days and wound up meeting up outside a popular grocery store (about 15 minutes walk from my place) my third day in Finland.  Unlike the Chubby Belorussian Girl, I was very pleasantly surprised. In her pics she looked like a 6; tall skinny with an average face. However, in real life, I would put her at 7+. Yes, she was tall and skinny, but also had some curves that her pics didn’t show and a much prettier face…and of course very nice long legs. Unfortunately, though, her English was pretty poor and she was super shy. Not the easiest combination

I needed to get groceries anyway so I led her inside the store and had her tag along while I picked up a few things. The conversation was a bit formal due to her lack of English. After I got everything I needed, I casually asked if she liked wine. She said she did and I walked over to the wine section & picked up a bottle. After, checking out I started nonchalantly leading her to my place. She asked about halfway to where we were going and I told her I had to put the groceries away (perfect excuse)

We get to my place & I lead her inside and casually pour us both a glass of wine. I could tell by her body language that she was nervous and was going to need time to get comfortable. I played it super chill and put on some music. She was a nice sweet girl, but super shy with a meek voice, and her English was pretty poor which added to the shyness. This would often result in long drawn out silences while she thought about how to say something.

We talked about eye contact. She kept telling me that in Finland no one looks you in the eye and that it was too much the way I always stared into her eyes. I assured her that this was actually normal behavior and she should try it. Her favorite musician was drake and she seemed to almost exclusively listen to him. It was quite amusing to see this super shy, super Finnish girl be so in love with fucking Drake, out of all people. We played drake song after drake song & drank wine. After a bit, I started very slowly escalating, touching her leg, brushing past her hair, etc.

Eventually I went in for the kiss, but she shut me down. I laughed it off and kept trying. However, I soon realized I had made a very amateur mistake before the date even began and fucked myself on time. She had previously communicated over text that she already had plans for the evening. The right call would’ve been to either meet her earlier or reschedule for another day. Unfortunately, with this type of girl, you need a lot of time and I just didn’t have enough time to close. We got to my place around 6… and by 7 she had to leave for her friend’s party. She was nice and invited me to come with her, but I politely refused. I was too jet-lagged for some Finnish birthday party.

We messaged back and forth afterward and she was down to hang out again. We wound up meeting up my last night in Finland. She did not want to meet me straight at my place (not a good sign), but she was fairly hot so I decided to meet her out in public again and see if I can pull. We met at this place that was supposed to have an outdoor food market, about a five-minute walk from my apartment (if I am meeting a girl in public it is 100% going to be walking distance from my place). I was a little disappointed because the food market was closed and playfully gave her shit for it. We wound up going to a coffee place close nearby instead. We chilled for about thirty minutes, she was just as shy as last time so the conversation was nothing special.

Eventually, I suggested we go for a walk. We walked past a famous church and I made a comment about having sex in public places. I saw her eyes light up just the smallest amount and knew this might be my “in”. I took her by the hand and led her inside the church. We walked around for a bit and I started building some sexual tension, whispering in her ear, brushing my hand past the small of her back, etc…Finally, while we were standing behind a beam, I went in for the kiss again. This time she didn’t turn away and we make out for a few seconds. Unfortunately, there were a good amount of people walking around, I tried looking for a place with the tiniest sliver of privacy where I could bang her, but there was nothing

We left and she told me about another famous church that I should check out, which is close by. We start walking there. I keep building the sexual tension, by playfully talking about exhibitionism. I start getting the feeling that public sex might be my best option. All I need to do is just find a relatively secluded area in that church & I could bang her there. We get to the second church and to both of our surprise it is completely closed. At this point, I had to make a decision, I could keep walking around the city trying to look for possible churches to have sex in. However, I don’t know Helsinki well and this could end with us wandering endlessly. I decided to just pull her to my place. I tell her that we are gonna stop by my place & have a few drinks. She says that she thought we would be outside chilling. I tell her its just a few drinks and not a big deal. She gives in and comes along

We get to my place, I pour us both a glass of wine and put on her all-time favorite Drake. Her body language again is super closed off. I play it super chill and wait 30-45 minutes before escalating. Oddly, when I go for the kiss back at my place, she again shuts me down. I back off, chill for a bit and go in for it again, and she shuts me down again. This continues for the next 2-3 hours. I use the two steps forward, one step backward strategy. It takes a while, but eventually, she stops moving my hand off her leg, then she stops fidgeting when I get closer, then we are making out again.

It is a very slow annoying process. One moment she looks like she could be into it. The next moment she completely pulls away. Eventually, I am able to make my way to her tits and she gets a little more turned on. I pick her up and carry her onto my bed. I think I am in the clear (this is already close to three hours after we had gotten to my place), but she stops me again. I ask her whats wrong and she says she is not interested in sex and leaves my bed and goes back to the living room. Quite Strange!

I wait for a few minutes, hoping she’ll come back. She doesn’t, so I come back to the living room and again ask her whats wrong. She thinks for a solid two minutes and says that she doesn’t trust me. I ask her why, and she can’t explain. I try prodding to get to the root cause of her objections, but this is made quite difficult by her lack of English. She is pretty vague and I start getting a bit annoyed. I hate when girls make some big deal out of sex. I start logically pointing out to her why her behavior makes no sense. I am super calm, but I do tell her she is being lame right now and making a big deal out of sex. She doesn’t like that and leaves a few minutes later.

The next day, as I am sitting on the plane about to fly to Poland and I get her stream of texts. Apologizing for “laming” and saying she would “commit to sex” next time we meet. Her wording cracked me up. Unfortunately, for both of us, it was too late. If I had another night in Finland, I would’ve hooked up with her for sure. Also, I am quite confident that if it wasn’t for the language barrier I could’ve pulled it off that night too. Oh well, on plus side, my speech is probably going to make it a lot easier for the next guy.