Chapter 8 Pt. 3 – Messaging Examples & Case Studies

Case #1: Direct, Plan A – Same Day

The girl opens me referencing my 50 Shades of Grey bio asking when is it her turn. This is the ideal situation. Means very likely she is DTF that night. No need to beat around the bush here. I match her directness and invite her straight over to my place after work. She is receptive to the idea and starts screening my logistics. I answer her questions directly. However, when she asks where she should meet me I still make the invitation seem as pressure-free as possible by saying she should meet me in the lobby of my apartment building. This is exactly the same thing as having girls come straight to your place, but it makes her more at ease.

She brings up a concern about parking (quite common in LA). I validate the concern and tell her what she wants to hear (whether there is actually parking on my street, I don’t know, but if she comes over and there is no parking, I can always come out and help her). At this point I have answered her concerns and we have a clear meeting set up so I go for the number. Alternatively, I could have told her to text me. Same thing.

She complies and gives me her number. Interestingly enough she then starts vibing with me. This is not a shit test, concern, or objection she just wants to build a little more comfort. In these situations not every girl will, but the order was flipped (Vibing to closing) so it’s natural. I answer her question and ask her about herself. She tells me it’s her last night in LA, confirming my initial theory of this being a tonight or never thing. I don’t want to get stuck on boring small talk though, so I bring it back to us hanging out and having fun. She gives me a shit-test/concern asking if I am “up for the task” and I confidently pass it.  

I text her my name and she responds. There’s no need for fluff here, she has been direct from the start and by beating around the bush all I do is increase my chance of actually losing this one. I send her a variation of the confirmation text and she confirms. We discuss logistics and she admits that she had a concern about the drive time. I casually address her concern “should be way faster at night”, again telling her what she wants to hear and answer her question about work. There is absolutely no need for any gamey shit here, just simple concern handling and answering questions. Problem solving.

I text her that I made it home which in this situation is a variation of the “going to hop in the shower” text and she confirms that she is on the way. She texts me when she is outside and I come out to greet her. This one was a while back, but I remember she was quite fun. I gave her a confident hug and led her inside. She was direct from the start of our messaging so I knew that I could escalate quite fast. Once inside, she looked fairly relaxed also so it was only a few minutes before I grabbed her, pulled her in and started making out with her. She was extremely DTF and quite kinky. No LMR obviously. A few hours after she left, I sent her a variation of the “I had fun” text. You never know when you are going to be in the same city.

 Case #2: Direct, Plan A – Same Day

Very Similar to the previous one, but I wanted to write it up to really drive the point home. The two big things with situations like this is that 1) It’s almost always tonight or never and 2) you need to be direct and not beat around the bush. She opens me asking if I am awake, this is essentially the same thing as asking if I want to fuck. I respond with a variation of the feeler text and she confirms by directly propositioning me.

I agree and she brings up a concern about penis size. I could just answer her question directly, but instead I decide to use this as an easy way to get her number (more investment). This was mainly at the time the conversation happened, she did not have a clear body picture and I needed to make sure she was not a fatty.

She texts me, I respond and she asks for a dick pic. I send her the same fake dick pic I always send and she likes it. She brings up a concern about condoms, the right answer of course is yes.  However, before giving her my address I request a full body pic (have to make sure she’s not a secret fatty, due to lack of clear body pics in profile).

She is not a secret fatty again proving my point that a lack of a body pic is not always a death sentence. I text her my address. I send her a variation of the “hey still on for tonight text” asking her if she is “cuming” and she confirms.

Nothing special here, just simple logistical talk. She comes over, we have a shot or two, I throw her up against the wall and go to town. Later, she beats me to the post-sex text. I found out after we fuck that she was on Tinder furiously massaging guys, but I was the most straight up and made it the easiest for her. Thus once again reinforcing the lesson that in these situations you just want to be very straightforward. Unlike the previous girl, there was not even any delayed onset vibing. Also, if you suspect that the girl might not be worth your time (as I did initially), don’t be afraid to ask for another picture.

Case #3 Indirect, Plan A – Same Day

This one was also a same say straight to the place. However, it was a lot more indirect than the previous two with important differences and adjustments in game.  First off, here I open her. She gives me a fairly low-investment response and I ask her about her day. She tells me that it has been “excessively boring so far”. This is a good sign, means she is likely looking for something fun to do. I ignore her question and jump on the opportunity by responding with “we should change this”. She asks me what I had in mind and I throw in a little sexual humor. She laughs (finally some emotion).

I decide to screen her, but she gives me a very non-committal answer. Unlike the previous two girls, she does not want come off as “explicitly DTF”. However, that doesn’t mean she is any less DTF. I don’t push her on this and use her answer to make a joke and move it towards the meetup (since she did not ask me what I was looking for, thus implying she is not waiting for me to lead, but simply doesn’t want to “commit to sex” yet). I send her my standard feeler text about meeting up tonight. She responds with a concern. She is concerned about this being some weird/fancy date and I respond with a joke.

She agrees to the general idea of hanging out “I should be able to manage that” and I obviously go with Plan A, inviting her straight to my place for “drinks”. She agrees. Then I go for the number and she asks me for Snapchat. Messaging her on Snapchat very likely would have had the same effect. However, I don’t have Snapchat, so I give her my standard Snapchat response. She laughs and gives me her number.

I text her my name and she responds. No need for fluff or beating around the bush, I send her a variation of the confirmation text “Is it time for drinks yet?” and she confirms, asking me for my address. She comes over half an hour later. I know for a fact she is DTF because she came straight my place, but I am a little more laid-back since she was a lot more indirect over text. After 10-15 minutes of drinks I can tell she feels fully comfortable and I start escalating. I put my hand on her knee and she is extremely receptive. I take this as a green light. I pull her in, make out with her, take her clothes off and fuck the shit out of her. After she leaves I send her my standard post-sex text.

The big thing with this one is that this was probably not a “now or never” like the previous two cases. I simply seized an opportunity “her having a boring day”. She was a lot less direct and I calibrated for that by actually bantering a little bit and sending out a feeler text before I Invited her over.

Case #4 Direct, Plan A, Next Day

I screen her and she tells me she is looking to fuck in a relatively indirect way. She then flips the question on me. This is an important sign, she is looking for me to go first and say it’s ok, I want to fuck too, it’s not a big deal. I communicate that to her in my response and she is on board. I combine the general idea of us hanging out and screening for her schedule (it’s ok here). She gives me a vague answer, but indicates that she doesn’t have much going on.

There is a decent chance, I could’ve gotten her over that night and if I was free the right call would’ve been to send out a feeler text. Almost exactly like this one. Unfortunately, I was busy that night and told her we should hang out a day or two from then. I expected her to agree to one of those days, but instead she sent me her number and told me to text her.

I text her the next day with my name and she responds. I wound up getting out work and wanted to get her over earlier (since we didn’t even have a set plan for Monday/Tuesday). She tells me she is doing homework and I send her a slightly sexual meme that is perfect for the situation. She likes it.

I send her a variation of the feeler text based on our earlier exchange and she confirms that she is interested in meeting that day. The dick pic was most likely unnecessary. However, I wanted to get her body temperature a little higher to increase her chances of coming over. She bites on the bait and tells me I should let her fuck me.

I use that opportunity to invite her over that night. The part about “Tuesday” was completely unnecessary (you can see how my game was more round-about). She responds with a common concern about me killing her. I give her my favorite response to that (almost always works) and she indicates that she is possibly interested in coming over. However, she is still on the fence.

I find out in the next message the reason for her hesitation is that she has a second concern. She is worried about me being a catfish. I could’ve Facetimed her at this point, but it wasn’t necessary yet, I deal with her concern over text by validating it and making the invitation seem as pressure-free as possible by saying the plan is to meet in the “lobby”. She finally agrees and asks me when she should come over. The rest are just simple logistical exchanges.

She comes over and I know she is quite DTF based on our exchange. However, she seems a little nervous so I offer her a drink and we sit on my bed. I chill with her for 10-15 minutes and she starts to get more comfortable. I put my hand on her leg and she is receptive. I escalate some more and a few minutes later we are fucking. No LMR.

Case #5: Semi-Direct, Plan A, Next Day

This one is also very similar to the last one. Some witty banter, screen, answer a few concerns, schedule the next day and naturally bang. It is also from the same time frame so you can see how my text game is more indirect & roundabout than it is nowadays. She messages me first with a little bit of a shit test in reference to my bio (if you are going to use a sexual bio, this will be common). I fully own it and subtly flip it around on her. She is from Boston which is where I did my undergrad. I usually don’t try super hard to find commonalities, but when it’s something big & easy, I’ll use it to build extra comfort.

I set up the conversation and when she asks me where I am from I tell her I went to BU. She responds positively and starts investing more into the conversation. We are bantering and this kind of small talk is completely OK as long as you transition out of it smoothly.

Here I cut the thread by moving onto my favorite screening question. In situations like this it provides the perfect transition. She has invested a good amount into the conversation so I know it means there is a good chance she will answer the question. She does and gives me the standard “I’m going to deflect to you, because I want you to go first” answer. Keep in mind, unlike Case #3, she adds a “how about you?” at the end of her answer. The vast majority of the time when you match using a sexual bio, the girl is investing, but gives you a round about answer and turns the question on you, the right call is to “show her your cards” and answer earnestly (in a non-crass/non-juvenile) way.

I give her my usual response “kinky sex & cuddles” and she bites by asking me to clarify what I meant (also common). I give her my standard response throwing in specific things that most girls enjoy adding in a “depends on what you are comfortable with” to show that not everything on the list is mandatory. She side-steps my response with a concern. It’s a very common one. She wants me to be a normal guy who just happens to be sexually confident and dominant, not a man-whore who does this all day (whoops). I give her the standard response from the “Concern” chapter.

She asks me about my job and I troll her a little bit. It’s completely unnecessary, but I found it funny at the time. She gives me a low investment answer and I quickly tell her I was joking & tell her my real job (note: unless you have advanced text game or just don’t care, I don’t recommend trolling girls. It’s unnecessary and quite easy to fuck up). At this point, she is not giving my anymore concerns, just bantering so I proceed to escalate again. I combine the general idea of us hanging out and a question about her schedule (totally ok) and she gives me her availability. I was busy that night, so I invite her over the next night.

She asks me to meet for drinks. A lot of guys would interpret that to mean that she wants to meet in public. However, that is an erroneous jump to a conclusion. She just wants to meet in a non-pressure way without committing to sex. I pick up on that and send her my standard “drink on patio” invitation. She responds by asking my for my logistics. Fortunately, she lives close by and I respond by commenting on that. She then somewhat agrees and asks if I live alone. This is a very good question to get asked. It means the girl is serious about coming over and thinking about fucking you. I could’ve simply said “no” but instead I gave her a little bit of a roundabout answer. However, it was the same message and she responds with more banter. This is the kind of girl that you have to lead with and just gently keep nudging in the right direction. She essentially agreed to hang out with me tomorrow, so I ask for her number.

I text her my name that night and she acknowledges. The next morning I send her a variation of the confirmation text. She hasn’t explicitly committed yet, but in these situations (lots of banter, set a date & time, discuss logistics, answer concerns, etc.) it’s better to just assume the girl is down and act like you are confirming. Fortunately, she confirms. The real sign was when she asked me about the wine. At this point, I knew she was 100% in. The shower text would’ve worked well here, but I knew she wasn’t going to flake. A few minutes before our “date” she texts me that she is on the way as I expected (everyone is late in LA).

She gets to my place and she is definitely cute. Tall, skinny, blonde. I knew judging from our text exchange she was definitely DTF, but not the type to start sucking my dick a minute after walking in. I poured us both wine and we chilled. After 20-30 minutes of drinking wine, banter, and sexual tension I started escalating. She was quite receptive and a few minutes later I was banging her.

Case #6: Semidirect, Plan A, Week-out 

Another one of my early ones, this is a good one to take a look at because it shows how you can fuck up a bit, but as long as you recover you will still get the girl. I open her and she responds with a common shit test I hear with that opener. My usual response is “Idk, but I hope you are, at least a bit”. However she had a picture with giant sunglasses and I couldn’t resist. I make a joke about it not being a deal breaker that supports the “I am the buyer” frame and ask her about her evening. She gives me the typical fluff answer and asks me about myself. I give her a long winded variation of my go to line “At the gym, you should come watch me lift heavy things”. She bites and sexualizes the conversation some more. I reward her answer and follow it up with my favorite screening question.

She gives me a long winded version of “I want to get laid”. Notice how she did not ask me. That means I can just use her answer to smoothly suggest a meet-up. I combine the general idea of us hanging out and a question about her schedule. She gives me the two nights she is free and I pick the earlier one. I confirm and tell her to give me her number.

I text her my name and she doesn’t respond until almost 12 hours later (importance of being patient & not jumping to conclusions). Our meet-up is still 3 days out so I just make small talk. She asks me about my day and I give her an overly-gamey, overly-invested answer. However, it’s obviously not terrible and she responds. I text her the night before with the standard confirmation text, but she tells me she is sick and we are going to have to postpone. Since this is an “indefinite” reason (meaning we don’t know how long she is going to be sick for), it would make no sense to try to reschedule now. I throw in a joke, but it’s also overly-invested and slightly corny.

She teases me for my comment and I respond by holding my frame.  Then the conversation stalls out. I strategically realize that she is sick and probably doesn’t feel like texting, so I wait a few days and text her asking if she is feeling better. She tells me she’s on her period and I give another nonsensical response. I was trying to do a little bit of a take away here. However, a better response would’ve been to handle it like a concern and respond with “the red fairy is not that scary” and get her over that night. Instead I try to “game” her by sending her another overly-gamey response and she doesn’t answer back. The conversation has stalled again. Fortunately, the Ryan Gosling meme has magical powers and she re engages.

I ask her about her period in a witty way and she says she still has it. However, this is a “finite” problem (we both know her period is only 3-5 days) so I ask her to hang out Monday when her period will be over and she agrees. I text her the day of with the standard confirmation text and she confirms. The rest is just coordination. It was a while ago, but I remember that she was quite horny and we were banging no more than 20 minutes after we got to my place. She had huge tits, which I enjoyed. I fucked up a few times here and was a little overly gamey. However, my game was still good enough to close.

Case #7 Direct, Plan D, Next Day

This one was a lot more recent and you can see how much more curt & succinct my text game is. This is a great example because I had family staying over which made Plan A and Plan C impossible. Furthermore, she had a roommate so Plan B was also harder, thus leaving me with Plan D. A lot trickier, but doable.

She messages me first about my bio, but it’s not as direct as Case #1 and Case #2, so I build it up a little bit and get her talking about her favorite part. She tells me she is a big fan of anticipation (as many girls are) and I respond with a little bit of sexting. This gets her turned on. However, I don’t want to give her too much, just a sneak preview. I ask her what she is up to and she tells me that she is masturbating. Ideally, I don’t want her to cum yet (will reduce motivation for meet-up) so I tell her to leave that to me

At this point, I want to strike while the iron is hot. I also get an opportunity because my dad had stepped out for a bit. I ask her where she lives and she is a college student in a dorm with a roommate. Typically in these situations, if her place is an option she will offer it. Instead, I tell her to come to my place, but she doesn’t have enough time.

She shut down my last proposal so I want her to offer something. I send her one of my favorite texts for these situations “hmm solution?”. However, she does not bite. I then offer car sex in the most nonchalant way possible.

However, she responds back with an objection. This is probably not something I will be able to get over with a text. I try a different approach and reply back with a very low level response in an attempt to get her to chase. It works and she offers a different date. However, my dad and I are flying to Hawaii in a few days and that is not an option. Ittell her this and she offers tomorrow. This is good. She is now chasing and trying to make this work. I counter her offer by offering public sex tonight.

She responds with another objection by saying there is nowhere to fuck on campus. Simply re-assuring her won’t work so I decide to get a little clever. I know every college has private study halls, so I google her university to get the specific name of the room. I then send her a message with the exact name of the study hall. This makes it seem like I have insider information and I am not just talking out of my ass.  She is impressed and asks me how I knew that. Obviously, I don’t want to tell her that I am a concern-handling pimp so I say I knew people who went to her school.

Now her objection has been mitigated to a concern. She likes the idea, but is concerned about being too loud. I know that she is extremely horny so I answer her concern with a sext, telling her what she wants to hear while turning her on. She loves it. I take this as a confirmation and tell her to text me. She agrees and finally gives me a time. #Victory

She texts me right away and I send her another nonchalant message “hey what’s up” to get her to chase a little bit more. She bites and again professes her horniness to me. I sext back and she tells me to bring condoms. This is in a sense also a concern as she doesn’t want to have unprotected sex. I validate it. There is one issue though, my dad wants to grab dinner earlier and I have to switch up plans on her (far from ideal). She is not available earlier and takes this as an opportunity to try to bail. I quickly figure out that today is not going to work and suggest meeting tomorrow. She agrees. Since our conversation had been quite sexual I decide to send her a dick pic to try to get her to send back a nude & further invest.

Unfortunately, my master plan is ruined by her phone’s inability to receive picture texts. She texts me that morning to confirm and thanks to something my dad wanted to do, I have to try to modify plans on her again. I am a little too impatient and text her two hours later “yes/no”, but I had been super non-needy the whole conversation so I get away with it. She confirms 9pm and we make plans to meet on campus.

The rest of the texts are just coordinating. I meet her on campus and she is exactly what I expected. A cute tiny Asian girl. I shoot the shit with her for a minute and nonchalantly ask her about her dorm. She calls her roommate who is out for the night and we decide to go there. She signs me in with security and we walk over to her room. It was quite surreal being back in the dorms with a little 19 year old college girl. She was extremely DTF, so I was probably fucking her no more than two minutes of getting into the room.  

Plan D meetups are usually “messier” than the other ones as there is usually numerous logistical issues and concerns. A lot of DTF girls simply can’t invite a guy straight to their place for whatever reason (commonly roommates or parents). This is why I recommend finding specific places you can bring girls to.

Case #8. Indirect. Plan B. Few Days

This one is different than all the other ones. First off, this is Bumble which is generally more dating oriented. Secondly, I matched with her using a non-sexual profile (I doubt she would’ve swiped right on a sexual one). So I vibe a little bit longer and I don’t screen her directly. She messages me first (however on Bumble it doesn’t mean anything) asking about something random in my profile. I follow it up with a witty comment and reference how I almost went to her university (It’s true).

Girls generally love genuine non-try hard commonalities like that and she is no exception. We banter a bit more and she is asking me a lot of logical questions about myself. This is her way of screening whether I am relationship-worthy. I don’t want to completely ignore her questions, as it will seem like I have something to hide. However, I don’t want to have a completely boring logical conversation and have her pigeon-hole me as the provider type before the date. I start introducing some light sexual humor. She is receptive but keeps trying stay on course with her screening.

I tell her I’m a male stripper and she tries to flip it around on me, but my frame wins out and we finally get off logical topics. However, I still give her the real answer a few messages later. This is crucial because I don’t want it to seem like I’m trying to hide something. I ask her about her day and she gives me a long logical answer and I respond with some humor. She likes it. Now the conversation starts getting even better. She is referencing my stripper joke and telling me she is jealous of my work at home job.

I throw in my much needed two cents about Gary Coxe and suggest the general idea of us hanging out. Based on the conversation we had so far I can tell she is likely looking for a boyfriend and asking her what she is looking for is likely only going to set me back. She responds to my invitation with a series of concerns. She is concerned that I will be in Phoenix for a short period of time and that I am a catfish/serial killer. I address two of her concerns. One with reassurance/joke and one by giving her my last name & a joke. She responds with her own last name and points out that I still haven’t addressed one of her concerns. I tell her a little white lie giving her a reason that she wants to hear. Now that she has no more further concerns, I ask her what her schedule is like.

She tells me her availability. I confirm that I can do that day and now that the plans are set, I ask for her number. I text her my name and she responds. I throw in a little bit of fluff and she asks me a random question about emoji’s. She is quite feisty and I call it out, but then I say I like it to avoid a combative frame. I also sexualize the convo a little more with the “I’m wet” emoji.

The next day I send her the magical Ryan Gosling meme and then confirm for tomorrow. We exchange a few more lines of banter. Then on Wednesday when I send her the “day of confirmation” text she asks if we can reschedule for Friday. I tell her it’s no big deal, but don’t confirm right away. She asks again about Friday. I confirm this time using her investment to try to set up Plan A

She confirms for Friday, but objects to coming straight to my place. I try to feel out the source of her objection with my next text “stranger danger I presume”, but based on her answer I can tell she’s one of those girls that won’t meet you straight at your place the first time. Here is where I make probably the only mistake throughout the interaction and I pick a place to meet that is too general. She clarifies by asking if we can meet at a specific bar she knows. However, it’s still walking distance to my apartment so I agree. She copies my confirmation text on Thursday and I answer back with a joke. Friday morning I send her the standard confirmation text and this time she confirms. The next few lines are just more banter & logistics.

I get to the bar before her. It is pretty trendy. I grab a drink (having a drink in hand already and nursing it is a great way to avoid paying for hers).  She arrives & looks exactly like her pics! Short, blonde, petite, decent curves and cute face. We sit in the outside area and shoot the shit about being Jewish, travel and college life for an hour or so. I touch her knee a bit and keep long eye contact, but avoid escalating too fast.

Eventually she asks if we can go inside because she is too hot. There is nowhere to sit, but the bar. Not ideal, but it is what it is. At this point, I remember I still need to make something happen. I move her bar stool closer to me and start slowly touching her a little bit. Stronger eye contact, hand on lower back, hand on her leg while keeping the conversation going. She stops me when I go to bite her shoulder playfully saying “come on, not in public”. I take this as a green light that she’s down.

We sit at the bar for another 20 minutes while she finishes her drink. I suggest we go for a walk. She pays for her drinks and we head out. She asks me where we are going and I say “come on, trust me. adventure” while leading her to my house. During this walk I almost lost the pull. It was a 15 minute walk for me, but she had heels on so it took 25 minutes and it was about 90 degrees out. I tried to keep the conversation going, but the further we walked, the more I could see the annoyance slowly growing. She asked me where we are going numerous times. About 10 minutes in commented that she knew I was taking her to my place and that she wasn’t sure what I was hoping to accomplish. The shit tests started coming rapid fire here and even I was doubting whether the pull would go down.

It was a messy pull, but i stayed super calm, nonchalant and jovial. Finally as I could tell the annoyance was really creeping in, we reached my place. To be honest, had I lived five minutes further I probably would’ve lost the pull. This is why I always harp on logistics. I made the rookie mistake of not adjusting my logistical assumptions based on local geography (i.e that it’s hot as balls outside and no one walks more than two minutes in Arizona during the summer). We get to my place and I lead her inside. She is dehydrated and I pour us both a glass of water. We sit on my couch and I can tell her mood significantly improves. She looks at me and asks “what I am hoping to accomplish by bringing her back here?”. I give her a joking answer, but she re-asks the question. I respond “look you are a cool girl and I wanted to hang out with you. If we hook up, awesome. If not, It’s ok too. No expectations on my end”.

I can tell she is impressed. She says that she was not expecting that response at all. There was no more shit tests after that. A minute later I go in for the kiss (despite all the touching, I hadn’t kissed her yet). She reciprocates and I start escalating. There is no LMR, I kiss her neck, suck on her boobs, take her pants off, go down on her and make her cum. I put a condom on and fuck her. She is super tight and I cum after five minutes. We chill for a bit. Super fun to talk to, but unfortunately works two jobs and has to be up early the next day so she takes off pretty soon after.