Biggest Dating Mistakes You Can Make

In this article I’m going to show you some dating mistakes that are guaranteed to cripple your dating life (especially if you’re an introvert). Take a look at this reddit post i stumbled upon

Let’s analyze this guy’s situation. He is 21 and doesn’t have friends. He wants a girlfriend but has made no progress. He is too nervous to try dating apps. And his brain locks up on him whenever he tries to take action. 

Overall, this all boils down to fear and anxiety. He is not alone though. Majority of men get anxiety to some extent when it comes to pickup (including me). We evolved this way. In caveman times, approaching a girl could have real life & death consequences. And even though this is no longer true, our biology is the same.

What separates the “winners” from the “losers” is what they do about this. Do you push past your comfort zone or let your fear get the best of you? For the guy in the post, it’s the latter.

What would I do if I was him?

I would make it my mission to push my comfort zone every single day. I would consistently put myself in situations that make me anxious and push through the “pain”. In psychology there’s a concept called progressive desensitization. For instance if someone is really afraid of elevators they would show them a photo of an elevator, then look at an elevator from a distance. Then get closer. Then practice going in while the door is open. And so on. At the end, the guy would be a lot less nervous around elevators because he’s “faced his fear”.

This is exactly what i would do when it comes to pickup. I would commit to going up to at least 5 girls every day and just talking to them. Then I would up the ante and try to flirt with them. Every week I would try to go just a little further. The best guide on this, is the 21 day confidence challenge. Link here

At the same time, I would download the big three dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, Hinge), no matter how nervous it made me. Then a day later I would create a profile and so on. Essentially, you are stretching your comfort zone a bit every day. There’s two cool things about this

1) As you stretch your comfort zone, things that made you anxious, become less and less of a big deal

2) Plus, you get this natural high after you do something that made you nervous

Consistently forcing himself to push past all the emotional discomfort, is the only way this guy will ever change his dating life. And this applies to everyone reading this article too.

What should you do?

Make it your goal to stretch your comfort zone by doing things that make you nervous. It may seem like torture at first. But eventually it gets easier and easier. When i was in high school, flirting with a girl scared me. Now I can pretty easily approach any girl in any situation. I may feel a bit nervous in the beginning, but i’ve developed the habit of pushing past that so going up and approaching is all on autopilot. In essence, I have repeatedly faced my fears and now they don’t have that effect on me

I’m sure you’ve heard the famous quote “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” and its so true. That girl you’re deciding if you should approach or not could be your next lay, your next fuckbuddy, your next girlfriend, or more. You only live once. Might as well enjoy that time, instead of letting your fear conquer you.