Why Girls Ghost After the First Date (And What to Do About It)

Guys commonly ask why did this or that girl ghost me after a great first date.

In this article, I’m going to reveal the real answer. It’s not very politically correct and very few people will tell you this, but it is the truth. This is a topic that is too spicy for YouTube so enjoy the exclusive scoop

Let’s start by taking a look at a type of post I see very often on pretty much any dating forum/group:

The Problem Explained

He goes on a date with a girl, there is a lot of sexual tension, things are getting handsy, they end off on a good note…and then he never hears from her again. Why did that happen?

It is mainly because of a concept called the “point of no return”. This happens when you come close with having sex with the girl, but for whatever reason you don’t close. What happens is afterwards she goes home and starts thinking….hmm that was kinda close, why didn’t we have sex?

This leads her to start backwards rationalizing and and looking for issues with the date…. like there must be something about you that turned her off and that’s why there was no sex. On the other hand, if you do have sex you benefit from the opposite effect. The girl backwards rationalizing that she must have really liked you since you guys slept together

This effect is going to apply tenfold if she was DTF but you weren’t able to close (as was the case here). In these situations, i believe on a very subconscious level the girl also loses some respect for you. She will never tell you this directly and she’s probably not even aware of it, but in the very back of her mind, she’s thinking

“damn, i was dtf and this guy didn’t make it happen. He must be a pussy”

This is very likely why the girl in this example is completely ghosting

What should he have done instead?

This one is very easy. He should have just drove his car somewhere a little more private and then proceeded to do the deed. This is very basic problem solving.

Had he done that, she might right now be enthusiastically texting him back planning round 2, rather than searching for other guys on the apps

Do you always have to have sex on the first date then?

Not necessarily, it depends on the situation. If the girl is dtf then yes if you don’t fuck her she will massively loose interest and move on to a different guy who can give her what she is craving.

Also, if you come close to sex. Like you are at your place and you’re sucking on her tits but then hit a bump in the road. Well, you’ve probably hit the point of no return so you should try everything possible to make sex happen (without being pushy or aggressive), because most likely you wont see her again if you don’t close

However, you can have a date with a girl who is not looking for a hookup that night, where you have drinks, make out at the bar a bit, and then see her for date #2. Because in that scenario you have most likely not hit the point of no return. (where that point is will vary girl to girl)

This means that if you sense there’s no way you’re gonna close, you’re better off ending things with a make out rather then pushing further. 

Pro tip: always go for the make out

This is crucial if you want to see the girl again. Even if the girl doesn’t kiss you back she is still going to respect you a lot more for trying. In my long years of doing game and almost a decade doing coaching, i cannot recall even one example of a guy not trying to kiss the girl, but still getting a second date

On that note, try not to wait until the very end of the date. It’s much better to kiss her at some point during the date when the conversation is on a high note.

Note: If you’re wondering how to text a girl to get her on a date, check out this guide

Conclusion

Don’t pussy out. It is ALWAYS better to try and be rejected, then not try at all. Girls admire a guy who is bold and think less of a guy who is afraid to go for what he wants. If the girl is dtf, don’t think “oh i’m gonna def make it happen next date”, because if you don’t close there wont be a second date.

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