How to Text a Girl You Like – 7 Important Rules to Follow
This article will cover the 7 important rules of texting any girl that you like. When you’re texting a HB (hot bitch), someone you really like, it can be easy to fuck up. Whether it’s a new match on Tinder or a girl you met at a bar, there are certain key rules to follow.
But, say you match with/meet a girl who’s your type. A type you rarely meet and whenever you picture your ideal girl, everything about this girl points towards that. You’ve barely known her and you’re already picturing getting married to her and having 2 kids with a dog and a cat.
Hold your horses! Don’t let emotions dictate your rationale. When you get overly excited, you’re much more prone to make silly mistakes. Especially when you have a million thoughts running through your head about what you should be doing.
Well, your luck is about to change. I’m going to go through the 7 rules I follow when I match/number close a chick I’d definitely see myself dating and not be embarrassed to take out to dinners and what not!
I’m going to go through each of the rules with a good, bad example so you guys can get an idea of what the nuances can be
- TREAT HER LIKE ANY OTHER MATCH/GIRL: Definitely easier said than done. Especially if you meet/match a girl like this once a month. You could easily let your emotions and excitement take over and ruin it by sending long walls of text (over the app or over text after the number close). Hoping she’d like you and reply back. This is the death to any conversation. Putting her on a pedestal is not going to get you anywhere. Especially when she gets such texts every 20 seconds of her dating
BAD
Instantly puts her on a pedestal calling her the prettiest girl he’s ever matched with. This plummets his value before the conversation even has a chance to get started. You can feel his frustration in the second text. Commonly, “nice guys” will treat a girl like she’s above them & then get butthurt/angry when it doesn’t work out.
GOOD
Even though this girl is his type, he plays it cool. He uses the “We” frame, flirts, qualifies her, and gets her invested in the conversation. He doesn’t get needy, or put her on a pedestal which results in the lay.
- DON’T BE OVERLY IMPRESSED:Don’t be the guy that’s “sold” on her right away. Instead, you wanna have the frame of a guy who meets plenty of gorgeous women and isn’t impressed easily. She has to earn your attraction/affection. It’s not just automatically given. You will actually stand out amongst other guys if you ask her questions about herself and find out qualities that YOU actually like and not just nod YES to anything and everything she says. Treat it as if you’re trying to figure out if she’s actually worth your time and effort
BAD:
Doesn’t seem that bad. But by the looks of it, he probably sends it to every girl. OR he is so easily sold, he is ready to have drinks. The girl has nothing to go with when it comes to his personality. So, she most probably won’t follow through with the plans
GOOD
He keeps it simple and to the point. Showing intent, without overdoing it. The underlying frame is that he sees potential but he’s not “sold” yet
- DON’T BE A PUSSY: Quite often when a guy matches/meets a girl he’s really attracted to, he plays it way too safe and acts like he’s walking on eggshells. He becomes primarily focused on not losing her. Ironically, this results in significantly lowering his chances with her. Playing to win is always better then playing not to lose. You can’t be afraid of taking chances. Women are attracted to men who are bold and aren’t afraid to be polarizing. If she triggers a sexual innuendo in your head, say it!! With PWF principles in place, you always know how to re-engage (Re-engage article) if it was too much. SPOILER ALERT! It barely ever is.
BAD
Big contrast to the previous example. Lots of pussy footing & beating around the bush. The guy seems like he’s very afraid to offend her or take any kind of social risk, which of course is going to hurt his chances.
GOOD:
This is a bit of an extreme example, but you can see how just going for it and not being afraid to sexualize can really pay off.
- DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE YOURSELF: Most men she meets are trying hard and put on a front in order to impress her. always brag about what they can bring to the table. It is much more high value to be yourself and own every aspect of your personality (Common sense applies here). For example, if you’re a nerd, be unashamed about it, and trust that, by you showing different aspects of your personality, she is only going to be more and more drawn in.
BAD
Too gamey even though funny. Guys have become too focused on what would be a witty thing to say, meanwhile just by keeping it simple, you can stand out with ease
GOOD: He isn’t afraid to show his corny side and his nerdy side. It’s original and unique. She will be intrigued by it
- BE DIRECT: Most Women generally appreciate a man who can “get to the chase” instead of beating around the bush. Of course this directness needs to be balanced with social calibration. Overall, you can’t be afraid to show your intent. Just make sure it’s done in a calibrated way.
As you can see, this conversation and logical question asking back and forth is not going to go anywhere. This could easily be a conversation between someone and their shrink. He was a bit too scared to show intent. Instead of asking what she was pondering about, he could have playfully interpreted “You were pondering how to flirt with your favorite New Delhi guy?”. The conversation just goes on as if they want to give updates to each other on their daily’s
GOOD
He lets her know what his intentions are. Almost as if it’s the way he treats any girl. And when she denied being into someone direct like him, he kept pushing for it to convince her. Eventually, she falls into the frame since she likes a man who holds his ground. Every woman does
- DON’T BE NEEDY: Even if the girl you’re talking to is your perfect 10 and you think you may never get this chance again, being needy can only hurt you. Just trust in the process that if it happened once, it will happen again. So, getting attached to the first real opportunity that is presented is only going to be a downfall. Instead, fail and fall forward
BAD
Obviously some top-notch text game. Just kidding, for the love of God don’t be this guy. His neediness is pathetic and will turn off every single girl in the world, including 90-year-old ladies in nursing homes. The ironic part is that this girl wasn’t ignoring him, she was just driving home and didn’t see her phone. Had he not been so needy & blown up her phone, then he might’ve gotten a second or third date, instead of being mercilessly mocked by everyone on the internet.
GOOD
Persistent without being needy. He doesn’t double text every 5 minutes but his texts are drawn out over a few days. Learn to be like that and always think how you can be abundant
- HAVE STANDARDS & BOUNDARIES: You Don’t let women walk all over you no matter how hot they are. Most chicks will test you from time to time and if you display a lack of standards/boundaries, they will keep “acting up” and ultimately lose any attraction for you. That’s why it’s important to have standards and boundaries as a man, and if someone crosses them you can’t be afraid of calling it out. The key is to be firm, without being angry or butthurt. You’re simply stating an obvious fact like the Earth is round. When you do this, women will actually gain respect for you and quite often attraction. Most guys that she knows are okay to be giant push-overs for the promise of pussy. This ironically has the opposite effect and results in them getting no pussy. It doesn’t matter how hot she is, you don’t want to communicate that just because she’s hot, you aren’t sold. You have to figure out if she’s worth your time. This is a turn on for women since a man with standards = a man with options
BAD
This is the exact opposite of having standards. He lets her know that he is free like all the time. Being overtly available communicates that you don’t have a lot to do in your life and also communicates that he isn’t going to be picky about who he spends his time with. Of course, she flakes on him since she is turned off by “I’m like free all the time” and “Hopefully you like me”
GOOD
He shows standards as soon as she calls herself “A hot nerd”. He emphasizes that he goes for intellect and not just looks. And for her to win over, she needs to check off his checklist and that there needs to be chemistry
All of these seem very doable and very obvious at first but to be able to implement it takes some practice and being fearless about failure.
Let me breakdown an LR which follows the rules I specified
Tinder LR:
Key takeaways:
1) As you can see, the girl is a solid HB and any guy in the world would be jumping with joy if he matched with her. As described in Point 1, he treats her like any other match
2) “Sex writer” is part of his bio and she opens him with that. Even higher compliance and she’s extremely hot, but still, he isn’t overly impressed as mentioned in Point 2
3) He actually doesn’t answer her question. So, she has no option but to switch the topic. He says his favorite place is Greece and the reason being people there are open-minded and adventurous SHOWING STANDARDS as Point 7 suggests
4) He shows intent by letting her know that they’d be going there for their honeymoon as a roleplay. She bites. He describes a romantic date of them vibing together and including handcuffs. Shows that he isn’t a pussy (Point 3) and is direct (Point 5) about his intentions
5) “Fortune favors the brave”. Riffing off of her “lucky me”. He shows that he’s not afraid to be himself (Point 4) and that he’ll say the first thing that comes to his mind.
6) Shows intent by being direct and asks her about her BJ skills (Point 5). She bites hard. He meets her that night and he bangs her with ease.
7) As you can see, even when she said “Can I let you know in 30 minutes”, he didn’t panic and try to push harder. He just sent an “Ok” and let her make the decision to meet. He gives her space in a NON-NEEDY way as mentioned in Point 6.
As you can see, talking to women and meeting them up can be as simple as you make it. Just because the girl is hotter than usual, you do not treat her differently. It actually works counter-intuitively since she will be able to sense that you usually aren’t in the company of such hot women
As you get better with texting and meeting women in real life, the more options you will have. The stronger the foundations for 7 these rules will be ingrained in your head and personality. And it will show. Trust in the process and yourself that this is something easily achievable
Hope that helps,
Indian “until next time” PE.